Choice Mom Survey Results: Finding Support

Each year I do an annual survey to take the pulse of our global Choice Mom community. In 2017 we will be releasing a survey in conjunction with the University of Minnesota family research about how we answer the daddy question.

In 2016, we looked at what worries us, who supports us, how well we have liked our service providers, and offered insights for the women who follow us on the path. Some of the findings:

  • One-third have experienced miscarriage.
  • 31% conceived easily (1-3 tries)
  • 40% report that “I don’t have enough money” is still a major concern, while 44% report that it has been a major concern but they’ve dealt with it; 62% as Thinkers have been primarily worried about whether they have enough money.

Some of the Insights

“I wish I would have known about the potential for losses and what that would be like…I had 6 losses in 2 years, it was brutal. It was very isolating and going through that process alone was a challenge.

“I did a lot of research before making my decision to become a Choice Mom. I had all my ducks in a row, but I was very insecure about my financial situation. It was at a Choice Moms seminar in CA where a woman shared her journey and said she ‘took a leap of faith’ in deciding to become a Choice Mom. This really spoke to me and helped me to realize that taking a leap of faith and believing I did have enough meant I was ready to move forward on my journey. I am now the proud mom of a beautiful 6-year-old son who has forever changed and blessed my life. I am not the richest mom, but I have found ways over the years to make it work for us. I thank a complete stranger for sharing her story and giving me the confidence boost I needed to move forward.”

“Have faith. The more important it is to you, the less important it is what other think.”

“I thought support post-birth wasn’t for me, but ended up calling a friend to spend the first night on my couch. I should have set things up and made a plan earlier. I wish I tried less hard to be superwoman at work and took decent time before the birth of my daughter. I wish I said “no” to more work obligations and felt that I could without being accused of playing the “mom” card. I was glad that I fought for a work-from-home arrangement. I wish I hadn’t gotten hung up on alternative living situations — I’m now living with extended family in a different city and it turned out to be the best thing ever. Get a doula — there should be someone in the room at the birth who knows what’s going on (and it sure wasn’t me!)”

I wish I had a better understanding of fertility sooner and received information on cyropreservation of eggs back in my 20s. This is something every woman graduating college needs to think about, not wait until your mid 30s.

“I wish I had known how dramatically fertility drops around age 38. I would have started my journey earlier (I started at 42). I also would have been more aggressive right away. I didn’t do IVF until 43. I conceived once, but the miscarriage that followed pushed me into pre-menopause and the clinic was not optimistic or helpful after that.”

Everyone feels inadequate. Since I was fostering to adopt, I tried to keep the attitude, “If it’s meant to happen, it will happen.”


Insights From Survey Results


Cities represented

Some of the earliest responders to the 2016 survey came from:

Albuquerque, NM
Alexandria, VA (2)
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Ann Arbor, MI USA
Arlington, VA (2)
Atlanta, GA (3)
Austin TX (5)
Belfast, Maine
Berkeley, CA (2)
Blaine, MN
Boise, ID
Boston (3)
Buena Park, CA
Buffalo, NY
Cambridge, UK
Canberra, Australian Capital Territory
Cerritos, CA
Chicago (2)
Chicago suburbs
Cincinnati, Ohio (2)
Colorado Springs, CO
Dallas TX (2)
Decatur, Georgia
Denver, CO (3)
Dublin OH
Falls Church, Virginia
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Ft Worth, TX
Garden City, MI
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Hamilton, ON, Canada (2)
Heemstede, The Netherlands.
Houma, Louisiana
Houston Texas
Indianapolis, IN (2)
Iowa City, Iowa
Johannesburg / South Africa (2)
Kalamazoo, MI
Kansas City, KS
Kansas City, MO
La Grange IL
Lancaster, PA
London (4)
London, Ontario, Canada
Long Island New York
Los Angeles, CA (3)
Louisville, KY
Lyme, Connecticut
Lynnwood, WA
Madison Wisconsin
Madrid, Spain
Maple Grove, Minnesota
Marlton, NJ
Marysville, WA
Middleville, MI
Milano Italy
Milford, MI
Minneapolis, MN (9)
Monroeville, PA
Morris Plains, NJ
Mountain View CA
Murfreesboro, TN
Nanuet, NY
New York, NY (11)
Newark, CA
NSW Sydney Australia
Oakland, CA (3)
Ontario, Canada (2)
Orange County, CA
Orlando, FL (2)
Ottawa Ontario Canada (3)
Palm Coast, Florida
Philadelphia PA (6)
Phoenix Az (2)
Pitt Meadows, BC, Canada (2)
Pittsburgh, PA
Pleasant Hill, CA
Portland Oregon
Portland, Maine
Richmond VA (2)
Rochester, NY
Sacramento, CA (2)
San Francisco, CA (3)
San Jose, CA
San Rafael CA
São Paulo, Brazil
Saskatchewan, Canada
Seal Beach, CA
Seattle, WA (6)
Shakopee Minnesota
Sherman Oaks, CA
Singapore, Singapore
Spokane Valley, WA
Spokane, WA
St. Louis, MO
St. Paul, MN
Stamford, CT
Sunnyvale, CA
Tacoma, WA
Tampa Florida
Toronto, Ontario (2)
Virginia Beach, VA
Wappingers Falls, NY
Washington DC (3)
Weehawken, NJ
Westminster, CO
White Plains/NY
Wichita, KS
Winnipeg, Manitoba (I am desperately looking for choice moms here! Please let me know if you know any)
Winston-Salem, NC, USA
Zurich, Switzerland


 

FIND RESULTS OF THE 2015 SURVEY HERE: how long our journey to motherhood took and what method got us there


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