Welcome New Moms!!

After a single dad wrote in who was feeling isolated with his young child, ChoiceMom.org readers chimed in with their own insights. One of the comments was about something we've talked about here before -- your support network often won't be what you expect it will be -- and is worthy of new discussion here.

My blog about pivot points having more impact on our kids than a "lack" of something in their life prompted a comment from a single dad. His comment was long, and I thought it was good fodder for a new post on the "support network" theme of the month on ChoiceMoms.org, so I'm using it here.

One of the things I loved about the new Choice Mom memoir by Stacey MacGlashen, "Just you and me, kid," was the insight she offered to other Choice Moms about the reality of the newborn days. Her kind reminder to women like us that attempting to be superwoman is just plain dumb. And her warning to pre-moms that you need a certain kind of stamina -- that most of us do have -- in order to succeed.

"Even the most independent or progressive among us didn't play house without at least going through the motions of assigning someone the dad role...Our childhood fairy tale fantasies involved Prince Charming and happily ever after, not donor number 5931...and a brief encounter with a syringe."

It's hard for self-sufficient women to ask for help -- or even acknowledge to ourselves that we need it. But we do. Even more than we care to admit, because we tend to be so hard on ourselves. This month I'm thinking about the kinds of support Choice Moms need, and how we can get and give it as a community.

At the Choice Moms networking event in D.C., Birthing Hands doula Claudia Booker offered many great tips for women about how to build a support network. She reiterated the importance of preparing for this well before the baby arrives. Some of her suggestions:

Choice Mom Deb suggested this fun idea, in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." We're now creating our own list for "You Know You Might Be a Choice Mom If..." She got us started.

It is important for a sleep-deprived mother to know where things are. Because when you and baby are struggling to keep nights and days straight, the last thing you need is to find out at midnight that you are out of baby Tylenol or wipes. And keeping the diaper bag packed with everything you need for three hours of errands is easier when you haven't just spent half hour looking for your keys.

At the San Francisco event, organizational specialist Kim Guay of A Clear Vision Organizing offered these tips for getting ready for parenthood.

I recently discovered a great book by Kara Stefan titled "Head of Household: Money Management for Single Parents." It covers budgeting, childcare, credit, healthcare, housing, insurance and more.

Uber organized Jessica, a Choice Mom in every way, will deliver her first child in a few months. While she was in the Thinking process -- preceding a long Trying phase -- she developed a worksheet that calculated how much she would need to spend trying to conceive, for prenatal care, for newborn items, and for post-delivery childcare expenses for a year. Here are the numbers she came up with.

When we are trying to conceive, or keep up with our children, we often take a closer look at how to improve our health and vitality. Here are tips from Natural Health and Fertility Center, as offered at the first-ever Choice Moms Expo in Minneapolis.

There are several great options for creating your own storybooks for your adopted or donor conceived child. Here are some of them.

An Australian woman who is going to college in the U.S. while raising a newborn, and a firefighter with two young children, share their tips about how to survive baby boot camp as a single parent.

A childcare provider who is on the Choice Mom journey offers these tips in finding the right caregiver:

A Choice Mom made a list of the pros and cons of nanny vs. childcare center, as she prepared to go back to work. Here is her list, and the comments elicited from other Choice Moms:

A majority of families using donor conception do not report births after the fact. This has a tremendous impact on the industry. The numbers of offspring born to a sperm donor, and even to egg donors, are generally vastly under-reported. If there is a genetic abnormality that surfaces in later years, families cannot be notified.

The Pea in the Podcast is one of the best I've seen for women in the waiting-to-deliver room.

When you're suffering from the stresses and strains of newborn baby boot camp, listen to these words of advice from noted pediatrician Dr. Robert Sears.

submitted by Felicia
It is always surprising to me how often I seem to be in a state of revising my plans. I meant to grow up, meet my prince, get married and have kids. I really did. It just didn't work out that way.

One typical question asked on the Choice Mom discussion board is, what do I need to have on hand for my newborn? The responses have been numerous over time, so there are two compilations on this website about product recommendations from the Choice Mom community. This page is actual brand suggestions of certain products and tips that were recommended by Choice Moms. Below are the responses many Choice Moms have made about what was essential, and what was not, for their newborn.

Doria is a Choice Mom, midwife and lactation consultant. She offers this Top 10 list for breastfeeding success:

It's hard to find baby books that don't have the obligatory "how I met your dad" and two-sided family tree chart to fill in. But there are options. Here are some of them.

Here's what Choice Moms have to say about breast milk pumps: