Welcome New Moms!!

Choice Motherhood is becoming a "Plan A" idea for more women across the country. I talked with a producer who is interested in doing what we talk about at our networking events: promoting the pride and amazing strength of the women in the Choice Mom community.

After a Choice Mom wrote about her surprise to be dealing with post-partum blues, despite all the planning and preparation she'd put into having a child, one of the therapists in the Choice Mom network who responded was New York City's Patricia Mendell. She offered this information for any new mother.

A new Choice Mom wrote me to say how surprised she was -- after all the planning and preparation she did to finally become a mother -- that she was suffering from post-partum depression.

I've returned from a great spring break trip to Chicago -- where I hosted a Choice Moms networking event -- and Wisconsin Dells with my kids. My notes from the Chicago event will be coming soon. In the meantime, here is one of the women we met, with a powerful spirit....

This profile submitted by a woman who started with IUI at age 37, and spent three years trying to conceive -- including five IVF cycles with her own eggs, and three IVF cycles with donor eggs, and a miscarriage. Her twin boys were born in March 2011.

Any of you who have been following Choice Mom resources over the years is likely acquainted with Cathi. She found the humor in the stress of trying to self-inseminate, in learning about her own fertility, in being pregnant, in being the mom of a newborn, and now in being simply, joyfully, Mom. Here is her story in a nutshell.

A friend called out of the blue to ask to catch up after months of absence. We talked about how hard it is for him to find interesting women to talk to about non-superficial things, and how he wondered if he’d ever find a partner.

I'm very happy to report that 30 Welcome Kits went out to new Choice Moms last week. This is a special new perk to the Choice Mom community, which includes...

A newborn mom thinking ahead to her return to the work world worried about how to help her daughter transition into naps that don't involve breastfeeding her to sleep.

This list was offered by Carrie Crompton at Cultural Care Au Pair, who is offering a great $500 discount to the Choice Mom community.

It is always surprising to me how often I seem to be in a state of revising my plans. I meant to grow up, meet my prince, get married and have kids. I really did. It just didn't work out that way.

It's a very lonely road to take care of yourself and a premature child (or two). Let's collect our wisdom here about places to turn, stories to share, insight to offer.

I've been reminded in the last week just how fragile life is. A Choice Mom friend unexpectedly lost her younger sister last week -- a mother of three -- in a tragic accident. And a neighbor couple are BOTH battling cancer, one of them terminal, with 7- and 9-year old daughters at home.

I've been hearing from more Choice Moms of twins lately, and it reminds me that we need to offer more on this website for single moms with multiples.

Many Choice Moms make a firmer commitment to organic living after they become moms. If you want to start by using cloth diapers, here are tips from an expert.

This priceless -- and honest -- gem from Cathi about new motherhood comes from the archives of the Choice Moms blog, and I wanted to re-offer it to our new moms.

My favorite connection to see at Choice Mom networking events is when our experienced moms can reassure the pregnant and newborn moms that "everything is going to be all right." I started collecting tips on how to deal with the logistics of newborn days after three women in my local area had babies within a week.

Some time ago on the old Choice Moms blog format, Denise offered these fun and wise thoughts on what she'd learned after 10 months of Choice Motherhood. They were too priceless to disappear, so I've resurrected them here. We invite you to add your own.

A new Choice Mom admitted her exhaustion with the first months of motherhood. Women in the community chimed in with support. Here are two of the responses.

When you are preparing to deliver a child on your own, finding the right pre- and post-partum doula can be vital to a Choice Mom. Listen to this podcast about finding the right one for you. Read more about doulas on this website. And recommend yours here in the comments field.

The first few weeks (and months, and maybe years?) of motherhood are a beautiful and emotional time. You bond with Baby, and learn about each other, and stare dreamily into each others' eyes. You are also wracked with hormones, and lack of sleep, and an almost overpowering, choking terror.

After I became a mother to Sophia back in 1999, I ended up unexpectedly creating a less stressful and healthier lifestyle. Partly this was because I didn't have time to work 60-hour work weeks -- and didn't want to. But also because I wanted to instill better habits in my child so she would eventually live a healthy lifestyle.

The "support" keyword on ChoiceMoms.org is, I think, the most important and valuable information any parent needs. Now we've compiled the website's best information from Choice Moms and experts in this easily downloadable 17-page PDF, "Choice Mom E-guide to Relieving Stress and Building Support."

When I lived in my one bedroom floor-through apartment in New York City with my young daughter, I did start to feel overrun in that first year by the THINGS she needed. I was frugal, but still had the diaper pail, stroller, Baby Bjorn, exersaucer, 3-in-1 travel crib (used everyday), and a growing collection of plastic chewy items. So it was no surprise when the organizing experts at the New York City Choice Mom event drew a crowd.

One of the things I loved about the new Choice Mom memoir by Stacey MacGlashan, "Just you and me, kid," was the insight she offered to other Choice Moms about the reality of the newborn days. Her kind reminder to women like us that attempting to be superwoman is just plain dumb. And her warning to pre-moms that you need a certain kind of stamina -- that most of us do have -- in order to succeed.

"Even the most independent or progressive among us didn't play house without at least going through the motions of assigning someone the dad role...Our childhood fairy tale fantasies involved Prince Charming and happily ever after, not donor number 5931...and a brief encounter with a syringe."

It's hard for self-sufficient women to ask for help -- or even acknowledge to ourselves that we need it. But we do. Even more than we care to admit, because we tend to be so hard on ourselves. This month I'm thinking about the kinds of support Choice Moms need, and how we can get and give it as a community.

At the Choice Moms networking event in D.C., Birthing Hands doula Claudia Booker offered many great tips for women about how to build a support network. She reiterated the importance of preparing for this well before the baby arrives. Some of her suggestions:

Choice Mom Deb suggested this fun idea, in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." We're now creating our own list for "You Know You Might Be a Choice Mom If..." She got us started.

It is important for a sleep-deprived mother to know where things are. Because when you and baby are struggling to keep nights and days straight, the last thing you need is to find out at midnight that you are out of baby Tylenol or wipes. And keeping the diaper bag packed with everything you need for three hours of errands is easier when you haven't just spent half hour looking for your keys.

At the San Francisco event, organizational specialist Kim Guay of A Clear Vision Organizing offered these tips for getting ready for parenthood.

An Australian woman who is going to college in the U.S. while raising a newborn, and a firefighter with two young children, share their tips about how to survive baby boot camp as a single parent.

A childcare provider who is on the Choice Mom journey offers these tips in finding the right caregiver:

A Choice Mom made a list of the pros and cons of nanny vs. childcare center, as she prepared to go back to work. Here is her list, and the comments elicited from other Choice Moms:

A majority of families using donor conception do not report births after the fact. This has a tremendous impact on the industry. The numbers of offspring born to a sperm donor, and even to egg donors, are generally vastly under-reported. If there is a genetic abnormality that surfaces in later years, families cannot be notified.

The Pea in the Podcast is one of the best I've seen for women in the waiting-to-deliver room.

When you're suffering from the stresses and strains of newborn baby boot camp, listen to these words of advice from noted pediatrician Dr. Robert Sears.

One typical question asked on the Choice Mom discussion board is, what do I need to have on hand for my newborn? The responses have been numerous over time, so there are two compilations on this website about product recommendations from the Choice Mom community. This page is actual brand suggestions of certain products and tips that were recommended by Choice Moms. Below are the responses many Choice Moms have made about what was essential, and what was not, for their newborn.

Doria is a Choice Mom, midwife and lactation consultant. She offers this Top 10 list for breastfeeding success:

It's hard to find baby books that don't have the obligatory "how I met your dad" and two-sided family tree chart to fill in. But there are options. Here are some of them.

Here's what Choice Moms have to say about breast milk pumps: