Welcome Moms!

After a single dad wrote in who was feeling isolated with his young child, ChoiceMom.org readers chimed in with their own insights. One of the comments was about something we've talked about here before -- your support network often won't be what you expect it will be -- and is worthy of new discussion here.

My blog about pivot points having more impact on our kids than a "lack" of something in their life prompted a comment from a single dad. His comment was long, and I thought it was good fodder for a new post on the "support network" theme of the month on ChoiceMoms.org, so I'm using it here.

I get more melancholy about the end of summer than my kids do. They love school, and started the new school year today. About my own sadness about this time of year, I know that it's largely because my kids are the ones who teach me to play, not to work all the time.

submitted by Lori
Will you ever have to prove your donor child doesn’t have a father? When I gave birth to my daughter via anonymous donor IUI in 1999, I hoped that the information regarding her father would be left blank on her birth certificate.

This is a continuation of Lori's story, who realized that someday her donor-conceived child might need to qualify for federal student loans. Since the paperwork requires income records for both parents, and since there are plenty of other occasions in her state of Alabama where having a blank or "none" on the birth certificate might not work with government employees, she wanted to be proactive. She was surprised to learn recently what she really needed it for.

Although I've written about all the ways other people and experiences can fill in gaps in a child's life, our role of parent can -- and should -- be the strongest influence on our children's lives, if done well. To that end, I'm launching a new area of ChoiceMoms.org that helps us become the best parents we can be.

A few years ago a producer for noted conservative commentator Bill O'Reilly called to test me for a potential debate with his boss about why Choice Moms dislike men. Maybe it's because I was pretty easy-going in my responses, but I was never booked for the show. In his recent remarks about Choice Motherhood, however, I see he still has a bug up his

It's hard for self-sufficient women to ask for help -- or even acknowledge to ourselves that we need it. But we do. Even more than we care to admit, because we tend to be so hard on ourselves. This month I'm thinking about the kinds of support Choice Moms need, and how we can get and give it as a community.

Thanks to the generosity of Choice Mom Emily, I've been able to spend a wonderful 10-day holiday in London with my kids and parents. While here I met in Coram's Field with 14 women, including Moms, Thinkers and Tryers from Belfast, Dublin, Belgium and many others in the United Kingdom. I also met with a large group of Ph.D. students in Cambridge, who were interested in the Choice Mom story.

We all know it's not healthy to be in debt. But when you've got fertility or adoption costs, a home to set up, a safe car to invest in, loans to pay off, and childcare to save or pay for, raising a child on one paycheck can be incredibly daunting. One friend of Choice Moms at numerous workshops has been Ameriprise, which offers this advice on debt.

submitted by Christy
My daughter is 2.5 years old. She is a little girl who doesn't need to ask a lot of questions, doesn't seem to need a lot of prep information, and simply adjusts at the time to whatever is happening around her. She doesn't yet ask why she doesn't have a dad, or who her donor is. But other kids are now starting to do so.

A woman on the Alternatives to Marriage Project Facebook page wrote that she was denied coverage for fertility treatments because she isn't married. She's on the Choice Mom path. Let's weigh in on which insurance companies do a better job of coverage.

I recently discovered the book "DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy and Fulfilling Day," while working at the Unitarian Universalist Association's bookstore during its recent annual convention.

Choice Mom Deb suggested this fun idea, in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." We're now creating our own list for "You Know You Might Be a Choice Mom If..." She got us started.

I'm often asked how Choice Moms handle Father's Day. And we often wonder -- especially before we have kids, or when our children are quite young -- whether they are missing out on something important by growing up without a father.

Lesbian and gay couples, and single women, have long been presumed by many to offer "worse" family structure for kids compared to two-parent heterosexual marriages. One new study reported in Time magazine indicates something we've long suspected. That might be a huge presumption.

Some time ago a librarian wrote to me asking that I send my various books for Choice Moms and donor-conceived families to the Library of Congress for cataloging. This stemmed out of her discovery that there are very few books about donor conception available. She compiled this list, however, of everything she had found to that point.

Dawn Davenport at Creating a Family had a great radio show about the bumps that can occur after adoption.

We all want to live healthier lives, especially when we are getting nutritionally in shape for pregnancy, or after we become moms. At the Minnesota event in April 2010, I had the pleasure of working with sponsor Laura Bonicelli, whose Solo by Bonicelli company offers gourmet delivery and food prep services.

I recently discovered a great book by Kara Stefan titled "Head of Household: Money Management for Single Parents." It covers budgeting, childcare, credit, healthcare, housing, insurance and more.

May is "Money Matters" month on the website. This month we'll take a look at what we're learning and sharing, from each other and from experts, about financial matters. Starting with this week's Choice Mom query: As parents who might expect more help from our kids, but with one paycheck, how do we handle allowances?

We usually include an estate planner at Choice Mom networking events, to make sure women understand everything they need to about protecting their child both BEFORE and after motherhood. Here's a tip that Julie, 28 weeks pregnant, learned from attorney Chuck Roulet at the Minneapolis event.

It's been a big week for keeping up with media requests. NOT, as I had expected, because of my recent debate with a father's rights advocate (thanks to ALL of you for adding your voice to the comments on PublicSquare.net that show our rationality), but simply accidental. Thought you might be interested in hearing what I've been repeating this week about who we are.

When we are trying to conceive, or keep up with our children, we often take a closer look at how to improve our health and vitality. Here are tips from Natural Health and Fertility Center, as offered at the first-ever Choice Moms Expo in Minneapolis.

There are several great options for creating your own storybooks for your adopted or donor conceived child. Here are some of them.

We love reading stories with our kids about non-traditional families. Here are some of the books that have been recommended by Choice Moms.

Interestingly, the most popular conversation circle at my upcoming Choice Mom Expo in Minneapolis is "Taming tantrums: yours and child," with parenting educator Denise Konen. Even 11 years into parenting, I didn't realize how important this topic is to our motherhood community. Here's one of the suggestions Denise has.

Choice Moms Expo sponsor Joan Gilles, of Ameriprise Financial Planning, offered this important tip about disability insurance. Admittedly, this is a form of insurance I hadn't given much thought to. But as single parents, there are a LOT of ways we need to be smart about protecting our assets, and this is one we need to understand.

I'm into week #2 of my attempt to live an organized life. And, I have to admit, being conscious of being organized makes you quite aware of how unorganized life is. But I think that's a GOOD step. Here's what I've learned about the stresses of single motherhood this week.

Well here it is...the public debate between a Glenn Sacks father's rights crony (Robert Franklin) and myself on PublicSquare.net. Read, laugh, seethe, comment. I actually love the opportunity to offer a rational perspective, even if my opponent has a decidedly different viewpoint. Such as Franklin's view that Choice Moms often trick men into having kids and then lie to keep them out of the child's life. Here's a synopsis, with links to the full debate.

I have two primary stresses in my life. NOT my kids. But, 1) the continuous feeling that I can't get everything done that needs my attention, and 2) the fact that my large house takes more money and energy than I'm willing to invest. So I called in professional organizer Kathy Franzen, of Project Partners Organizing, who was a single mother of four for most of their childhood. Here's what I learned in one intense two-hour session.

I know many Choice Moms (myself included) who are slowly attempting to bring more organic into our lives now that we are moms. To that end, I'd like to use this space for a new category on ChoiceMoms.org: organic living. (Keyword: organic)

There are three things Choice Moms report in hindsight are their biggest regrets. What do you think they are?

Years ago, when my daughter was in kindergarten, the infamous family tree assignments started to come from school. To allow for the fact that Choice families don't have a "father's side" to fill in, we came up with our own solution.

We're building an audio library featuring the best of our Choosing Single Motherhood radio show and Choice Chat podcasts. You can order the first of this collection, "Choice Moms Answer the Tough Questions: Do I Have a Dad?" (formerly a CD product, available here for immediate $7 download). After you place your order, we will send you a special code for access here:

Choice Mom Lori Gottlieb made headlines two years ago when she wrote an Atlantic Monthly piece suggesting that maybe single women like her, opting to have kids alone, were simply too picky about finding a partner. Now she's made headlines again with her New York Times best-selling book.

Human Fertility journal published the findings of Susan Golombok's Cambridge University survey of who Choice Moms are, and are not. Notable findings: we have a high percentage of post-graduate degrees, and we don't hate men. But, of course, we knew that.