1. Talking out loud about this choice with others - counselors, parents, friends, support networks, Choice Mom discussion board members. In other words, despite sometimes being very private people, talking our possible intentions out loud moves the concept from a pondering loop to a doing loop. Or, in the case of women who choose "no," talking out loud the reservations about this choice helps as well. It’s easy to talk ourselves in circles when it’s all in our heads. It makes things more concrete when we say it out loud.

2. Learning at ChoiceMoms.org and other vehicles about how long it can take to conceive - how much extra money was spent on fertility because of the age factor - helps many women push their plans forward. (See also the tips from Dr. Rani Abbasi in "fertility" about the natural length of time it can take to conceive.)

3. A psychologist in the Choice Mom group pointed out that it is not true that you need to finish the grieving process before you move ahead. In many cases, grieving comes back in waves over time, even well after you are a mom. To think that there is always an end point to feeling a sense of loss is not realistic. That’s not to say that you won’t feel great joy being a Mom - as several pointed out - but you can also feel twangs of grief about not sharing this life with a partner or having a father for your child. One emotion doesn’t take away from the other. So don’t feel you have to be done grieving before moving ahead.

4. Others pointed out how they were not giving up the idea of finding a partner someday. They were just choosing to focus on the goal of motherhood first, while they were still young enough to enjoy the process and make it happen.