With the Choice Moms I met here, there were many similar issues I hear at the workshops I've held in the United States: women finding it more difficult than they thought to conceive, women who want to find community, women who wonder how they will talk to their kids about donor conception and being without a father. I also talked with women who want to find allies if the time comes under conservative government to speak out more loudly in favor of single parent households.

I talked with them about how my goal is to help women make connections locally if they haven't yet found that support. And that I also want to help us feel kinship through ChoiceMoms.org with our counterparts in the U.S., Canada, United Kingdom, Australia and those of us in non-English-speaking countries that I've heard from (Finland, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Israel).

It was apparent in my three gatherings within one week (D.C., NYC, London) that what we benefit from is the point of contact we make with others on this path. We hear the struggles and joys that we relate to, or yearn for, and bond with like-minded women who are boldly -- or even tentatively -- stepping into the goal of motherhood. Whether we would prefer to have a partner or not, whether we are lesbian or straight, whether we are in our 30s or 40s, whether we want to experience childbirth or become gifted through adoption, we all have in our hearts the strong desire to unconditionally love a child.

One mother from the London event has been in touch with me subsequently. She has shared some great, honest insights about her own story.

About finances: "I didn’t really think the whole thing through financially and get the impression from those who’ve contacted me over the years that many potential Choice Mums don’t. With hindsight, I wish I’d started saving a long time before I made the decision."

About siblings: "I only thought about whether I could bring a child into the world without a dad? I never did the math to show me that bringing two kids into the world on my own was going to be financially pretty impossible without drastic downshift in lifestyle and home. I do feel my child has lost out a bit by not having a sibling. When women contemplate making this move, it’s worth thinking through the implications of having an only child, especially if there aren’t cousins or many other family members. It’s not been a major issue for my child, but I worry about having no siblings or cousins when my child is an adult."

About friends: "I found some childless friends lost interest very quickly after my child was born. They didn’t see us as having anything in common any more. When you work full-time, it can be difficult to make new friends among mums. Friends I made through mother and toddler groups lost interest once I went back to work. So I had a difficult few years when my child was younger. Some families headed by couples seem to prefer to do their own family thing at the weekend - while, as a single parent, you’re obviously keen to meet up with others."

She is very happy being a mum, but wants to make more connections with others, which is hard to do in her particular community -- and especially wants to encourage moms to think about these issues as well when they are in the Thinking and Trying stage.

A few days later I met with about 12 Ph.D. students at Cambridge, who are studying in the fields of bioethics, donor conception, fertility and age, and more. Susan Golombok moderated the conversation, which was largely a Q&A. I talked about largely who we are, how we tend to come to this decision, how we find support, the impact on our children.

They also talked to me about some of the future work being done at the Centre for Family Research, including a study of donor siblings and the impact of knowing about donor origins, and another study about how women make decisions about becoming a single mother by choice.

In a few moments, Emily will be returning from her home after a holiday in the United States and Canada. So I'm off with the kids soon to a long, lovely, pondering train ride all the way to Rome and Naples, while my parents sojourn in Paris. Talk to you again soon when I re-emerge.