1. Telling and Talking: In the opening large group discussion we all shared our individual stories. One thread that came up was the question by Thinkers about how to tell family about this choice. One woman suggested that you need to approach it as an "informational" conversation, not with an "asking for permission" tone. Another suggested anticipating the questions that will come up, and being prepared with those answers in full. Another reiterated that it might be useful to point out that you're not looking for feedback, but letting them know because they are important to you and you hope to have their support. Some women have given books about this choice (such as my "Choosing Single Motherhood," or this website link) to help them learn more. Also, take the pressure off yourself to make this the perfect conversation....it will come up more than once. And work through your ambivalence or grief about this choice, if you feel it, as much as possible before communicating with people you think might be judgmental about it. One woman said she played on her parents' desire for grandchildren to help them get excited.

2. Fertility: Michael Zinger, Choice Mom sponsor from East Fertility Clinic, offered this insight.

3. Money Matters: Angela Celso-McGurk, of Ameriprise, talked about the four cornerstones of the Dream Book, which is a way to assess the reality of your situation. She said single women choosing this step should not forget about the importance of having disability insurance, which is often overlooked in the planning stages.

We talked about the frequently mentioned "squeeze" for Choice Moms in particular, who tend to be paying for a child's college education uncomfortably close to retirement age -- and on a single income. She advises women to remember that there is no financial aid for retirement, as there is for college, and suggests a savings ratio of $1 per college for every $2 set aside for retirement.

One 37-year-old woman in the roundtable mentioned that she could have done MUCH more to benefit herself if she had been making smart investments earlier.

4. Organization: Elizabeth Kaplansky, an organizational expert who happened to be an expecting mom, offered these tips to prepare for newborn days.

5. Donor conception: Long-time Choice Mom sponsor California Cryobank announced that it would be opening a new branch in New York City in Fall 2010.

In a roundtable discussion, the bank's open-identity policy was brought up as a topic. The bank's Scott Brown explained that after the age of 18, a donor offspring can contact CCB for more information about the donor. Since the bank's open-ID policy is 10 years old, it is not yet known how many offspring are interested in further contact with the donor. And the donor does have the option of changing his mind about making contact. But he pointed out that in the recruitment process they talk to donors specifically about whether they are open to contact, and about 40% do volunteer. He said that he expects in time the interest in making contact will gain strength, as CCB works with many single women and lesbian couples who might be more open to the child about that option.

6. Time management: Janine Sarna-Jones, of Organize Me, herself a busy mom, suggested this checklist of questions for getting better control of your work/home/life balance.

• What is working in my life right now and how can I apply it to other areas?
• What is not working and why?
• What are my strengths?
• What are my weaknesses?
• Is there something depleting you? Find a way to delegate or remove it from your life.