"What if the child slips?" I could hear her say and I imagined her writing something in her notebook to the effect of "prospective mother seems careless regarding bathroom safety."

I’d spent all weekend cleaning out the baby room (formerly the junk room) and clamping child protective devices on almost everything. At one point, I installed a cabin lock and then had to cut it off when I need to get into the cabinet. Not to mention the fact that for the first time since I moved into my apartment, the floors were literally clean enough to eat of off.

But when the social worker arrived, she didn’t care about any of that. She wanted to know about my parents, my childhood memories, role models, and my values. Thankfully, her manner put me at easy from the first moment and I calmed down enough to remember my parents’ names and that, I did indeed, have values.

Based on the paperwork I submitted beforehand, she even said that I was obviously well prepared and had gone through a long and thoughtful process of deciding to adopt. She was certainly correct about that. I’ve spent the last four years preparing for this, including changing jobs in order to make sure I can accommodate my new parenting schedule.

Incredibly she didn’t even notice there wasn’t a bathmat in my bathroom.

Later the same day, when the home study was done, I went to an open house at a kindergarten that I want to send my child to. Doing these sort of parenthood things is a treat for me and I try to schedule them each time I take a step forward in my adoption.

As I sat there waiting for the tour to begin, everyone was discussing where their child was attending pre-K. "Where is your child at?" the woman next to me asked. I explained that I was doing an adoption, the likely timeline, and how excited I was to start a family. I ended by saying, "so I actually don’t know where my child is at right now." The woman paused reflectively and then said, "Yes, you do. She’s right here" and pointed to my heart.

Now that my home study is done, that child of my heart is one step closer to coming home.