My daughter went through the Red Cross babysitting course this summer, so is trained to babysit. But obviously there are times before our kids are 12 that we have to assess their comfort level -- and our own -- with being home alone. I tested my very responsible son when he was nearly 7, and he opted to stay home while my daughter and I went to the store....but he was nervous and called us frequently, so it was obviously too early.

I have purposely lived in a large home with housemates, so that I can go out more easily with other adults in the home. But increasingly my daughter has become the caretaker when I have a church meeting and the other busy adults are also gone.

This conversation came up recently, when the mother of an 8-year-old who wanted to be home alone a few times nervously wondered what other Choice Moms in the area were doing.

The prevailing wisdom, of course, is that we have to know the individuality of our children to assess their abilities, even more so than chronological age. I remember as a 13-year-old babysitting frequently an 11-year-old neighbor -- and his parents were right to do so as he was probably the most difficult kid I ever took care of.

One woman in my area offered this wisdom from her own experience, which I thought was a good way to broach this topic with the Choice Moms community:

"There is no Minnesota law that states at what exact age a child must be before he or she may be left home alone or left under the care of another child. There are general laws, however, that require adequate and appropriate supervision of children. Each case depends on the maturity of the child or caregiver, their experience and the environment they might be left in. The general law indicates the following guidelines:

• Children under age 8 should not be left alone for any period of time.
• Children ages 8, 9, and 10 can be left alone for traditional latch-key hours under certain circumstances (before and after school)
• Children 11 to 14 may baby-sit with the expectation that an adult will return later in day.
• Children 15 and older may baby-sit for more than 24 hours.

"From personal experience, you can only leave them home for very short amounts of time when they are 8. My youngest daughter handled getting off the bus on our block, coming home, calling me, and then being there for 30 minutes before my other daughter showed up. Any longer than 30-45 minutes and she got really nervous unless I made sure ahead of time she knew it might take longer. I never left either alone for more than an hour at age 8. My oldest, who I thought was very independent as well, really didn't handle being home alone until she was almost 9.

"Now at ages 9 & 11, I have no problem leaving either or both for 4 hours or more. They were home most of the summer, although I usually went home for lunch (and I only work 3 miles away). The one or two times I didn't, they knew I wasn't going to come until after work and we talked on the phone to be sure they were fine. I tell them what time to expect me, so if I run late, I need to call. Neither gets scared like each did when they were 8, but they read me the riot act for being late. I have never left them to go further than 10 miles from home.

"It all depends on the kid, the neighborhood, how far away you'll be, your comfort level, their comfort level, etc. I guess that's why there are guidelines and not hard and fast laws."

If you've got older children and anecdotes to share for the younger moms, feel free to use the Comments field below.

Mikki