At this time of year we tend to make our wish lists for the bright shiny new days that come. The kids and I made just such a list this morning. For one of the items my daughter pointed out that "we always make that a goal but never do it." In other areas, I noted that what seemed difficult in 2010 has to be beefed up for 2011 (i.e., both kids now intending to read 50 books instead of 30; I want to exercise a minimum of four times a week instead of three).

To make the 2011 wish list more real, this year I had us compile our 2010 accomplishments. One thing I found in 2010, thanks to the Organizational and Simplification lessons I learned is that it is far too easy to forget what we've DONE. Too often we're moving on to the next item not yet completed. We never allow ourselves the time reflect on what we've accomplished.

So before we move on with this discussion, take a moment to think about what you did in 2010 that pleased you, gave you satisfaction, or was simply a major pain-in-the-butt task now finally behind you.

Now, back to the woman from two years ago. In July 2008 she wrote that she'd done extensive traveling and exploring, pursued passions and career dreams, looked for a partner but not yet found one to spend her life with. She wrote an excellent Thinking blog for our community about circling in a loop of "what ifs" and how hard it was to make a decision.

Someone today read her blog from 2008 and asked what she eventually decided. So I went looking for her on the discussion board. And that's when I discovered that she hadn't posted for two years. Although I know what country she lives in, her email address is no longer valid, so I don't have an update about her story.

When last we spoke with her as a community, it was in response to her anger as 2008 came to a close about having to navigate away from the childhood dream of embarking on parenting with a partner. "I want to scream at the universe 'why me?' And I want to scream at society that this wasn't my first choice, that I played by the rules too, that I believed the myths, but I was judged somehow to be lacking. I want to scream at men for having all the power, for being the ones to ultimately have to choose me, for not choosing me, for still wanting nothing more than sex and fun in their thirties with women years younger, while the window on their same-aged peers fertility is closing. I want to travel back in time and tell my younger self that society lies, that the rules change when you reach your thirties, and that if you're not what the majority of men want in your thirties, you don't have every chance of "having it all" in the traditional sense, you have a very much reduced chance. Why is it taboo to say this?... Anyway, I'm sorry if this sounds awful. I just wanted to put it out there as it's been in my head for too long, and I'm ashamed to have these angry thoughts."

I expect that, one way or another, this woman has reached a decision of sorts. Yes or no to single motherhood.

But as we open up a new year together -- my personal mission for us in 2011 is to have "conscious conversations" -- I'd like to ask women to think about where they were one or two years ago... or even last month... have you moved forward on a goal or a decision? Not so much physically -- I know many of us have intentions to become parents and are still waiting, sometimes agonizingly, for it to happen. But I mean emotionally. Is there an emotion that is blocking you, that you need to tackle head-on this year? Perhaps changing jobs? Letting go of a relationship? Relocating? Building a support network?

What were you unsatisfied with in 2010 that you want to tackle this year?

Mikki