One of the women helping me pull together the Boston Choice Mom Networking Event on June 26 is Holly. On this Mother's Day weekend, she came clean about the single parent lifestyle. We're looking for YOUR insight.
Posted May 7, 2011 at 7:20 AM
Holly: The Parenting Line Between Normal and Chaos
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"So, the day-in, day-out stuff is doable. But barely at times, it seems.
I feel like I'm getting dragged down in the minutia of running a household: working full time, spending some time (minutes sometimes!) with my amazing daughter every night, outside obligations, 'what do you mean the cat litter needs to be changed AGAIN?!' ... ACK! I just feel like if I take one night 'off' and just collapse, likely with wine in hand in front of crappy TV, then it takes five times as long to get back to that fleeting feeling of "normalcy." Or that place where we're not feeling so stressed. (Which usually means I have a kiddo who is also sensing this and has behavior to boot ... super!)
Seriously, I got up at 5am today to do laundry ... five in the morning! … two loads of it, and I'm still behind. While I did the laundry, I cleaned the kitchen, packed backpack and work bag, responded to a couple emails (almost all for work or personal obligations), found my missing black shoe and went through a couple days worth of mail. And did I mention I went to bed at 11PM since I was working on a project last night for work? And, nope, this isn't uncommon.
So, Wise Single Momma's on a tight budget (read: no, I'm not in a place to hire help) how DO you keep it together without feeling like the chaos is winning? Or keeping it together enough to feel like you actually SEE your child occasionally (this is the one that pains me the most).
And, yes, I could let go of some of those outside things I do -- like being on the Board for my daughter's school, or coordinating local children's soccer, and others -- but am I letting go of stuff that is kind of "Me" stuff?
Okay, clearly I can't be the only Single Momma out there trying to keep that sense of normalcy in check (and the chaos out!) ... what do YOU do? [Use the Comments form below]
-- Holly (Single Mom by Choice to the BEST thing that has ever happened to me)
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Posted May 8, 2011 at 9:20 PM by Monica
I'm a single mom by choice to a 27 mo old. For me, sleep is everything. I'm really not doing much for just me, so I envy you in some ways, Holly.
Stopped doing yoga, for ex. I could never have your schedule and never get up before 6:30 voluntarily! I have p-t sitters that I use mostly for extra work-related programs, not for "me" stuff. I hope to do more "me" stuff when he's a little older. When nap time is completely gone, not sure how I will cope!