Essentially, this woman past the age of 45 wasn't asking about the option of conceiving at that age -- which we know is a challenge -- but the more philosophical questions. Is it my "right" to be an older mom to a child? How will I relate and fit in with the 20 and 30+ mothers? How do I reconcile my need to have my own family and be what feels like an anomaly in this society?"

From my perspective, I know a LOT of women, married and not, who are starting their families in their 40s. It's much less an anomaly, especially in urban areas, than it used to be (hence all the reproductive technologies now available for these later-in-life attempts). Of course, most of your kids WILL go to school with kids whose parents are "normal" age. But in my case, most of our family social life includes parents who are, in fact, as old as I am. And I've made decent connections with younger marrieds as well. My kids are currently 12 and 7, as I near age 50, and while that first year with my youngest was exhausting (he didn't sleep more than a few hours at a stretch), he certainly keeps me young now.

One Choice Mom on the discussion board, who had her second at age 43, said: "I guess it boils down to your confidence in your decision. If you feel confident in your ability to carry and/or raise a child at your age, then it really wouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. Personally, for me I know I would not have the energy to have a baby past the age of 45. I am 43 and pretty tired as it is. lol. But that is ME. Everyone needs to do what they feel is right for THEM."

A 44-year-old mother of a two-year-old said: "It has been a fabulous decision for me. With many buts. :). I wish I had decided sooner to have children. Yes there definitely are differences with the other moms at school/daycare. It is harder to connect with them. Harder to become friends with them. I am such a better mom now then I would have been if younger. I am more relaxed, laid back and comfortable with me.
The change in your life is huge, tremendous."

Another: "I'm turning 45 and have the time of my life w/ a 9yo and a 3yo. I know I am a better mom now, than I could have been 15 or 25 years ago, I also know that had I started 5 years earlier, I would have tried for one more child. What I think is important to consider when deciding to become a mother later in life is: do you still have the energy and mental flexibility it takes? Can you happily deal with the sleepless nights? The crazy daily schedules? busy weeks of soccer practice, play dates and sleepovers? Routine interruptions w/ unexpected 'kids stuff'? Going to school... all over again? Are you healthy enough to reasonably expect to have the energy it is going to take to chase around a teenager in 15 years? Will you enjoy mommy-and-me activities with your kids and not feel out of place with other mommies, young enough to be your daughters?...What others may think shouldn't necessarily make the decision for you... IMHO if you can happily throw yourself into it, and avoid making your kids feel that they are being held back by your age - go for it!"

A 46-year-old with two boys under the age of 3 said: "The plain truth is that you won't fit in most of the time, and your child/ren will probably reproach you about having them at some point. The way you reconcile it is you figure out what's most important to you: fitting in and doing what society expects OR having a child on your own and being unconventional. Either way you'll experience some pain/discomfort, but, if you choose what feels right to you, the joy will outweigh the pain/discomfort. I agonized over this, too, and was very hurt by my family's disapproval. Many tears later, I've no regrets."

A 45-year-old mother of two-year-old twins: "It has been many sleepless nights and exhausted days. It can be harder to connect with younger moms, but there are women who are mature enough to connect with others simply thru the fact of motherhood. I have heard many older parents say that raising kids at a later age helps to keep you young."

A pregnant mother of two: "At 44, the only time my age has come into question has been when i was trying to conceive. It took me 14 months. I had two children before that, at age 38 and 41...As for fitting in, there will always be those you fit in with, and those you don't, whether you're a parent or not. My age has never prevented me from fitting in as far as i know, being single may have since I don't get invited to the 'couples' dinners. And while you may feel your age as far as maturity is concerned (there really is a big difference between 32 and 42), you will have being a mother in common with the younger mothers, and that is plenty."

What do YOU think?