First, Lori's request:
"I'm writing an article for Working Mother on the resourcefulness of single moms. The point is that all moms can learn from single moms, who don't have a partner to rely on and have to figure out how to make it all work themselves. I'd love to hear any tips on how to balance work/career and parenting that you've learned or use as a single mom. What makes you most efficient? What do you do to relieve stress? To appease bosses? To cut corners without sacrificing quality (at work, at home)? The more specific and personal the tip, the better! Please contact me at lori.gottlieb@gmail.com."

Then, if you haven't followed the story in Kansas, a lesbian couple used a known donor (found through advertisement a few years ago) to conceive a child. After separating and falling financially on hard times, the custodial mom secured state benefits -- and the state is now requiring the donor to pay for that, and child support. The case is in a Kansas court.

I've been interviewed about this story from a few reporters now, including Heather, from Associated Press, who would love to hear from others who have faced this kind of quandary. If you're willing to share your own story -- about why you used a known donor, and how it has nothing to do with sharing child support or custody but was a method to family building, just as adoption, or anonymous donation might be -- she'd like to hear from you. Especially if you, too, have sought out benefits when times got tough. She can be reached directly at: HHollingsworth@ap.org

I offered my own story. I've been in these shoes. A few years ago, struggling to replant myself in my home state as a self-employed writer (and author, of course, of "Choosing Single Motherhood"), having downsized from highly paid corporate America, with two kids and costly health insurance, I sought out Minnesota Care, a state-funded health insurance plan that is more affordable than what I can get privately on an individual plan for an adult with two kids. I had to argue my case a few times, but did not succeed at convincing them that my known donor should not be liable for child support (any more than we would ask birth parents who placed a child for adoption to be expected to pay support later). So, I withdrew my application in order to protect him.

At the time there was a local attorney involved in third-party reproduction and adoption rights who was interested in my case -- especially since I'm a primary advocate nationwide for Choice Moms -- but with two young kids and a business to get off the ground, I decided not to pursue it.

Now, the case in Kansas is giving us a chance to support and protect the known donor method many of us use to create our families. Can you help by sharing your story?

Mikki