Posted March 5, 2010 at 7:20 PM Bookmark and Share

The Trance of Scarcity

filed under: inspiration, book, thinking, commentary, emotions, support network

Inspiration

Are you thinking that life is unfair? That you might not be worthy of having a child? That Choice Motherhood is a path of defeat? That no one has chosen you? That you are an oddball for even considering this voyage? That your child would be branded as an outsider? Before you embark on this journey consider these words from Victoria Castle, author of The Trance of Scarcity.

"If we answer that the universe is not friendly, we hold ourselves at the mercy of imagined hostile external forces, we feel we're strictly on our own. This belief impoverishes every area of our lives... Bound by this message, we feel alone, ashamed, permanently insufficient. We move through the world like dejected spectators, strained, isolated, telling ourselves story after story of our unworthiness and life's unfairness. Feeding on a continual diet of despair and rejection, courtesy of the Trance of Scarcity, we desperately seek ways to go numb. Our life force is gradually reduced to a whisper.

"If we answer that the universe is friendly, however, we show up at the party ready to greet old friends and meet new ones... Our belonging is undisputed. No longer auditioning, we're confirmed in our right to exist. We live with a sense of freedom and possibility. We create a life of meaning and fulfillment, absorbed in making the unique contribution to the human community that is ours to make."

When you step into Choice Motherhood, you are joining a community of women who live with a sense of freedom and possibility. Having a partner is not a prerequisite to a meaningful life.

In fact, having a child is not a prerequisite to a meaningful life either.

Whatever path(s) you choose...welcome.

Mikki
Choice Moms founder

Reader Comments

Posted April 13, 2010 at 5:55 PM by Mikki

Thanks for your comments today, Leslie.

I agree with you that many things are out of our control and sometimes the smartest thing we can do is figure out how to make ourselves happy given the limitations we're faced with.

I think the Scarcity point she was making is that if we think there is something wrong with us because of those limitations, and that we don't move past the stage of feeling sorry for ourselves -- or feeling like a victim -- instead of moving ahead with a new plan eventually, then we're stuck.

That's my interpretation anyway.

And incidentally, it sounds like you are NOT dealing with the trance of scarcity. You've had to deal with some hard issues -- and have/are.

Posted April 13, 2010 at 3:05 PM by Leslie

Sorry. I'm not buying it. This is along the whole "Secret" thing. Believe in it and it will come to you. The premise is wrong. What it says as that we can control God's will, fate, life, whatever you want to call it. We can't. Sometimes sucky things happen to great people. I always believed I'd meet a great guy to share my life with and have kids with him. Well, no guy has come alone - I'm 46. I started ttcing at 42 - believing I still had some decent eggs left - no. I tried donor egg - found out I can't carry to term. I kept envisioning, believing, praying. Now I'm on an adoption waiting list. Still trying to date here and there. Do I believe I might meet someone to spend my life with? Sure. I might. Or I might not. I'm a happy, pretty, loving, smart, together woman who makes healthy choices. Why I haven't met Mr. Right is beyond me. It's not for a lack of trying - speed dating, volunteering, online dating, blind dates. Or believing that I could. I actually never even doubted I would. Sometimes we just don't have answers to why things happen that we can't control- miscarriages, divorce, disease, death. So no matter how much we believe in plentiful, scarcity does happen.

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