Checklist for Single Parent Adoption

Choice Mom Valerie offered up these questions to ask any prospective adoption agency before considering them for your single-parent adoption.

Selecting an agency may be the most important decision you will make in the adoption process. The job of the agency is to guide you through the adoption process and help you meet the child that will become your son or daughter. Make sure whoever you select supports your goals and will advocate for you as a prospective single adoptive parent.

1. Go to the Website – Evaluate the website to see how visible services are to single parents. This will uncover how much the agency has thought about and works with single women.

  • Is there information specifically for singles? Are singles given their own webpage within the site?
  • Do the forms read “I/We” or are they only written for married couples?
  • Is the eligibility for singles specifically spelled out for each adoption program offered?

2. Ask the Yahoo Groups – Yahoo and other sites have multiple list serve groups for adoption of every description (each international country, domestic, foster care). For the options you’re interested in, join the group(s) and ask the experience of other single women with agencies you are considering. There are also groups that maintain databases and rating systems of agencies based on adoptive parents feedback.

3. Call the Agency – A phone call is better than an e-mail in evaluating how you will be treated by the agency. Listen to what they say and what they don’t say as they answer these questions.

  • Do you accept single applicants? Are there additional requirements for singles?
  • How many programs do you have that accept singles?
  • For the program(s) I’m interested in and the age group and gender I want to adopt when was the last placement you made to a single woman? How many have you made in the last year?
  • Do married couples have priority over singles on waiting lists?
  • Are there quotas for singles in the program I’m interested in?
  • If a program for singles closes, what are my options?
  • Is the cost/fee structure for singles different from that of married couples?
  • Can I have a list of the singles that have adopted with your agency so I can contact them myself?
  • Do you support single parent adoption? Why?
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  4 comments for “Checklist for Single Parent Adoption

  1. karen
    November 6, 2015 at 9:14 am

    I just wanted to point out that you don’t have to go through an agency at all. I chose to pursue a private adoption with an attorney who has done a lot of work with single parents. Best decision I ever made — I was in the delivery room when my now two-year-old amazing son was born, less than a year after signing with my lawyer.

    • Anonymous
      November 18, 2015 at 10:41 pm

      Karen,

      If you don’t mind me asking, how did you find, locate the birth mother for your adoption? Did the attorney make the introduction or simply handle the legal aspect of your adoption? Is this type of private adoption considerably cheaper? I’m in the process of vetting agencies and most are quoting 30 to 35K for an agency adoption.

      Carey

      • Anonymous
        November 19, 2015 at 10:05 am

        I adopted twice without paying to be on the agency’s list of waiting parents. Both times the agency called me anyway because they had done my home study and knew I was waiting to adopt. And both times they had birth moms looking for something their “official” waiting families didn’t have, that I did have. The agency ended up handling part and the legal was handled by my attorney. In all it reduced my fees by about 30% per adoption.

        So in addition to running Facebook and Google ads, handing out pass along cards and telling everyone you want to adopt, drop off a copy of your parent profile with agencies in your area. Put a sticky note on the front that calls anything unique about yourself, whether that be a second language you speak, certain situations you’re open to, etc. And if you can afford it, mail a copy of your profile to agencies in nearby states.

    • Suzie R
      February 3, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      I would love to know how you found someone who can do this? We have been looking at private adoption but have come up empty! any insight would be greatly appreciated — did you get a referral for the attorney or a search?

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