Posted August 28, 2010 at 7:10 AM

Proving my child's "father" was "donor" (Part 1)

filed under: legal, trying, waiting, being, anonymous donor, Choice Kids, daddy question, donor offspring, insemination, known_donor, money matters, policy, sperm, profile

submitted by Lori
Will you ever have to prove your donor child doesn’t have a father? When I gave birth to my daughter via anonymous donor IUI in 1999, I hoped that the information regarding her father would be left blank on her birth certificate.

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Posted August 16, 2010 at 12:10 PM

What Matters to Our Kids?

filed under: thinking, being, commentary, profile, daddy question, donor offspring, genetics, growing up without a father, hot topic, inspiration, parenting

A few years ago a producer for noted conservative commentator Bill O'Reilly called to test me for a potential debate with his boss about why Choice Moms dislike men. Maybe it's because I was pretty easy-going in my responses, but I was never booked for the show. In his recent remarks about Choice Motherhood, however, I see he still has a bug up his

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Posted August 11, 2010 at 4:05 AM

Diana: Part 2

filed under: thinking, trying, profile, emotions, donor offspring, growing up without a father, holistic, stress, United Kingdom, waiting

We recently read about Diana's decision NOT to become a Choice Mom. Here is Part 2 of her story, when she decides to move into the Trying stage after all.

Posted August 3, 2010 at 3:40 AM

Diana: can I raise a child without a dad?

filed under: thinking, United Kingdom, profile, Choice Kids, donor offspring, emotions, growing up without a father, open-identity donor, Europe, waiting

While in London I had the pleasure of meeting a woman at the Choice Mom gathering who told me about how she had decided some time ago that she definitely would not become a single mom -- partly after reading my "Choosing Single Motherhood" book. 18 months later, however, she's back on the path. I asked her to share her story about the thinking process.

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Posted July 24, 2010 at 3:20 AM

Notes from the U.K.

filed under: thinking, trying, waiting, being, research, donor offspring, emotions, support network, money matters, Choice Kids, daddy question, events, United Kingdom, telling and talking

Thanks to the generosity of Choice Mom Emily, I've been able to spend a wonderful 10-day holiday in London with my kids and parents. While here I met in Coram's Field with 14 women, including Moms, Thinkers and Tryers from Belfast, Dublin, Belgium and many others in the United Kingdom. I also met with a large group of Ph.D. students in Cambridge, who were interested in the Choice Mom story.

Posted July 20, 2010 at 3:05 AM

Donor conception "research"

filed under: anonymous donor, feature, donor offspring, Choice Kids, insemination, sperm bank, commentary, research

I've been asked by some to offer comment on the study about donor-conceived kids that was released in May 2010 by the Commission on Parenthood's Future, in conjunction with the Institute of American Values.

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Posted June 29, 2010 at 8:00 AM

Answering the questions of other kids

filed under: being, telling and talking, daddy question, Choice Kids, donor offspring, emotions, growing up without a father, hot topic, parenting

submitted by Christy
My daughter is 2.5 years old. She is a little girl who doesn't need to ask a lot of questions, doesn't seem to need a lot of prep information, and simply adjusts at the time to whatever is happening around her. She doesn't yet ask why she doesn't have a dad, or who her donor is. But other kids are now starting to do so.

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Posted June 28, 2010 at 2:25 PM

Asking the Right Questions: Sperm banks

filed under: thinking, trying, donor offspring, Choice Kids, feature, anonymous donor, insemination, open-identity donor, expert insight, tips, checklist

It is more important to start your donor search with selection of the right sperm bank, before identifying donor characteristics. Arm yourself with this checklist of questions to begin the process.

Posted June 25, 2010 at 7:55 AM

Insight: Testing your sperm bank's genes

filed under: donor offspring, fertility, genetics, insemination, miscarriage, expert insight, sperm, trying, anonymous donor

Egg and sperm donor banks must adhere to certain safety standards, related to infectious disease testing. However, the donors themselves are not required to have genetic testing. That's why it's important for you to know the standards of the bank you want to work with -- and know what questions to ask.

Posted June 17, 2010 at 3:10 PM

Do you know your genetic history?

filed under: donor offspring, fertility, genetics, insemination, miscarriage, expert insight, sperm, trying, anonymous donor

One advantage of sperm donor conception is that you are looking at your eggs and a donor's sperm much more scientifically than if you were conceiving with a man you fell in love with. That means you have tools at your disposal to prevent potential medical problems for your child. Your sperm bank might have evaluated your donor’s family history, but have you had yours evaluated as well?

Posted June 7, 2010 at 8:25 AM

Notable documentarian tells her story

filed under: thinking, donor offspring, profile, emotions, support network, telling and talking

At a Choice Mom networking event in 2008, I had the pleasure of meeting Anne Catherine Hundhausen. Since then, she has told her Choice Mom journey in a highly recommended documentary, about the grays of the donor conception process for her. Here's her personal story.

Posted June 7, 2010 at 7:00 AM

Books about donor conception

filed under: being, donor offspring, Choice Kids, resources, telling and talking

Some time ago a librarian wrote to me asking that I send my various books for Choice Moms and donor-conceived families to the Library of Congress for cataloging. This stemmed out of her discovery that there are very few books about donor conception available. She compiled this list, however, of everything she had found to that point.

Posted May 18, 2010 at 1:40 PM

Coming to grips with donor conception

filed under: thinking, emotions, donor offspring, expert insight

Long-time Choice Moms adviser Patricia Mendell has created her own website that features articles and information of benefit to families conceived by donor conception.

Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:20 PM

Creating your own storybook

filed under: being, becoming, waiting, Choice Kids, Minnesota, growing up without a father, donor offspring, adoption, parenting, products, resources, telling and talking

There are several great options for creating your own storybooks for your adopted or donor conceived child. Here are some of them.

Posted March 4, 2010 at 3:50 PM

Our 3 biggest regrets

filed under: podcast, thinking, trying, emotions, being, Choice Chat, Choice Kids, choosing doctor, commentary, daddy question, donor offspring, open-identity donor, open adoption, telling and talking

There are three things Choice Moms report in hindsight are their biggest regrets. What do you think they are?

3 Regrets in hindsight

What do women wish they had known before they embarked on the Choice Mom journey?

Regret #1: waiting (6.5 minutes)

Regret #2: doctor (11 minutes)

Regret #3: origin story (10 minutes)

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Posted February 20, 2010 at 4:35 PM

Why it's important to report a donor birth

filed under: podcast, waiting, becoming, donor offspring, policy

A majority of families using donor conception do not report births after the fact. This has a tremendous impact on the industry. The numbers of offspring born to a sperm donor, and even to egg donors, are generally vastly under-reported. If there is a genetic abnormality that surfaces in later years, families cannot be notified.

Tracking donor births

Tracking donor births

Posted February 20, 2010 at 8:45 AM

Building a family with donor conception

filed under: anonymous donor, Choice Kids, donor offspring, podcast, open-identity donor, expert insight

I have talked to many experts -- including donor-conceived adults -- about the pros, cons, strengths and weaknesses of anonymous and open-identity donor conception as the method to building a family. Listen in:

Posted February 6, 2010 at 8:25 PM

What anonymous-donor offspring think

filed under: podcast, anonymous donor, donor offspring, Choice Kids, research

Have you wondered what offspring conceived from donor sperm think about as they get older?