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Posted January 13, 2012 at 8:20 AM

Patricia Mendell workshops in NYC

filed under: NYC, telling and talking, donor egg, ChoiceKids, surrogacy, donor offspring, being

Long-time Choice Mom support Patricia Mendell, who works with single women in the New York City area who are building families on their own, has announced a new monthly support group to help families (single and coupled) create healthy families using egg, sperm and embryo donation, as well as surrogacy.

Posted October 21, 2011 at 9:00 AM

News from Reproductive Medicine conference

filed under: fertility, event insights, trying, commentary, embryo, donor egg, donor offspring, sperm donor, lesbian, adoption, miscarriage

I just returned from Orlando, where hundreds of specialists in reproductive medicine gathered for their annual convention -- largely focused on helping women get pregnant with up-to-date research and technology. Here is some of what I learned, and people I talked to.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted August 23, 2011 at 4:50 PM

Books about alternative family building

filed under: resources, ChoiceKids, donor offspring, donor conception, book

Thanks to Danielle for bringing this list of storybooks to my attention for those of us who have used alternative methods to bring our children into the world.

Posted June 12, 2011 at 3:20 PM

Danielle: meeting half siblings

filed under: being, ChoiceKids, daddy question, donor offspring, profile, Seattle

I am a Choice Mom of twin girls who are now 6. I did artificial insemination in the U.S. with sperm that could not cross the border into Canada. This is my story of making contact with half siblings.

Read More... | 3 comments

Posted May 3, 2011 at 7:05 AM

Q&A: celebrating Father's Day

filed under: being, daddy question, anonymous donor, ChoiceKids, donor conception, donor offspring, expert insight, growing up without a father, Minnesota, parenting, podcast, QandA, resources, telling and talking, becoming

How do we celebrate Father's Day?

Posted May 3, 2011 at 6:30 AM

Q&A: Talking about half-siblings

filed under: being, daddy question, anonymous donor, ChoiceKids, donor conception, donor offspring, expert insight, growing up without a father, Minnesota, parenting, podcast, QandA, resources, telling and talking, becoming

A San Francisco Choice Mom wrote to me recently, asking how to address the half-sibling topic with her son. She's been in contact with two lesbian couples on the East Coast who have sons from the same donor.

Posted April 20, 2011 at 8:15 AM

Q&A: the daddy question

filed under: being, daddy question, anonymous donor, ChoiceKids, donor conception, donor offspring, expert insight, growing up without a father, Minnesota, parenting, podcast, QandA, resources, telling and talking, becoming

This has come up so frequently lately that I want to focus our attention again on responses to these topics: What do we tell our children, and others, about how they were conceived? About why they don't have a dad?

Posted April 5, 2011 at 6:35 PM

Special Choice Mom resource compilation

filed under: resources, fertility, adoption, donor conception, donor offspring, tips, expert insight, sperm bank, thinking, trying, waiting, being, checklist, feature, daddy question, growing up without a father

As we develop more (largely FREE!) e-books and other special guides for the Choice Mom community, I thought this would be a good place to list everything so far available. This list will grow, so keep checking back.

Posted March 31, 2011 at 6:40 AM

Conscious Conversation #2

filed under: commentary, thinking, becoming, being, daddy question, donor offspring, ChoiceKids, growing up without a father, parenting, profile, telling and talking

Here it is...the end of the month when we focused on Conscious Conversations, and it took me weeks to get to THIS conversation with you. Isn't that the trickiness of our lives? How to make time for what matters, when the minutia of everyday gets in our way.

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Posted March 22, 2011 at 11:25 AM

Guide to Sperm Banks and Donor Conception

filed under: sperm bank, trying, checklist, donor conception, donor offspring, feature, open-identity donor, thinking, being, policy, QandA, resources, sperm, sperm donor, tips

It's finally here! The Choice Mom Guide to Donor Sperm. Click here for the e-book, available as a complimentary guidebook for anyone who is choosing or has chosen sperm donation to build their family.

Read More... | 5 comments

Posted February 11, 2011 at 4:50 PM

Donor news from Australia

filed under: Australia, regional guides, donor conception, donor offspring, policy, sperm donor

I heard from Fiona H. in Australia about the House of Parliament's decisions there about regulating the donor industry.

Posted January 25, 2011 at 6:45 PM

Genetics: How to keep our kids safe

filed under: trying, insemination, sperm, sperm bank, policy, genetics, anonymous donor, donor conception, ChoiceKids, donor offspring, sperm donor

A woman on the Choice Mom discussion board asked what she could do to better guarantee her child's genetic health from an anonymous donor.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted November 9, 2010 at 4:00 PM

Parenting over 40

filed under: being, thinking, survey, donor offspring, expert insight, fertility, hot topic, news, Philadelphia

At the recent ASRM convention for those in the fertility industry, Choice Mom friend and therapist Andrea Braverman led a discussion titled "Wrinkled Parents: Medical, Ethical, and Psychological Issues of Parenting at an Older Age."

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted November 5, 2010 at 7:35 AM

Australia's precedent in examining donor conception

filed under: trying, being, news, policy, Australia, donor conception, donor offspring, anonymous donor, ChoiceKids, open-identity donor, sperm bank, Canada, UnitedKingdom

There is a national discussion starting in the Australian Parliament about how to regulate and legislate donor conception practices across federal and state lines.

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Posted October 27, 2010 at 10:55 AM

Spotlight: California Cryobank

filed under: thinking, trying, sperm, sperm bank, , event insights, insemination, podcast, policy, products, resources, LosAngeles, donor offspring, open-identity donor, anonymous donor, ChoiceKids

Several years ago I got a call from the long-time co-founder of California Cryobank (CCB), gently and intelligently "checking me out" as an educational partner in his attempt to help his colleagues in the sperm bank industry understand why some policies needed to change. Since then...

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Posted October 14, 2010 at 10:25 PM

UPDATED: Latest BioNews headlines

filed under: fertility, news, genetics, IVF, Canada, embryo, anonymous donor, UnitedKingdom, lesbian, donor offspring, resources, trying, research

As I've mentioned, one news source that I follow faithfully is BioNews, which publishes information about fertility and genetics out of the United Kingdom. Here are some of their latest reports of interest to the Choice Mom community.

Posted September 18, 2010 at 10:00 AM

Meeting half-siblings

filed under: being, ChoiceKids, telling and talking, donor offspring, genetics, resources, anonymous donor, open-identity donor

A woman with two young children wrote to say that a half-sibling of her kids was traveling to the U.S. from another country and wanted to meet, since the children shared the same sperm donor. The mother didn't feel prepared to talk to her kids about how they were connected, yet didn't want to miss the opportunity to meet.

Posted September 15, 2010 at 10:25 AM

Voices of Donor Conception

filed under: ChoiceKids, genetics, anonymous donor, donor conception, thinking, trying, book, donor offspring, expert insight, insemination, open-identity donor, parenting, policy, resources, sperm, sperm bank, telling and talking

ONLY TEN COPIES LEFT IN PRINT! Years ago I collaborated with Wendy and Ryan Kramer, the mother-and-son co-founders of Donor Sibling Registry, on some new tools for families created by donor conception. This was one of them.

Posted September 15, 2010 at 9:30 AM

Are you tired of the fertility rollercoaster?

filed under: NYC, fertility, trying, adoption, emotions, stress, healthy living, insemination, 2ww, expert insight, genetics, donor offspring, drugs, resources, miscarriage, telling and talking, thinking, transracial, waiting, money matters, eggs, foster care

Are you struggling (alone) with the weight of deciding whether to persevere with costly fertility treatments? There are mental health counselors who specialize in the fertility industry who are here to help you. This is great, detailed advice from one of them.

Posted August 28, 2010 at 7:10 AM

Proving my child's "father" was "donor" (Part 1)

filed under: legal, trying, waiting, being, anonymous donor, ChoiceKids, daddy question, donor offspring, insemination, known donor, money matters, policy, sperm, profile

submitted by Lori
Will you ever have to prove your donor child doesn’t have a father? When I gave birth to my daughter via anonymous donor IUI in 1999, I hoped that the information regarding her father would be left blank on her birth certificate.

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Posted August 19, 2010 at 10:20 AM

Notes from NYC event

filed under: NYC, telling and talking, money matters, donor offspring, open-identity donor, sperm bank, organization, stress, event insights

I lived in New York City 18 years, so it's always a little odd for me to fly in and out of town for a weekend workshop, as I've done the last two visits. But we do pack a lot of information-sharing and support into these events, and the NYC event held in July 2010 was quite dense with resources. Here is some of what we shared.

Posted August 16, 2010 at 12:10 PM

What Matters to Our Kids?

filed under: thinking, being, commentary, profile, daddy question, donor offspring, genetics, growing up without a father, hot topic, inspiration, parenting

A few years ago a producer for noted conservative commentator Bill O'Reilly called to test me for a potential debate with his boss about why Choice Moms dislike men. Maybe it's because I was pretty easy-going in my responses, but I was never booked for the show. In his recent remarks about Choice Motherhood, however, I see he still has a bug up his

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Posted August 11, 2010 at 4:05 AM

Diana: Part 2

filed under: thinking, trying, profile, emotions, donor offspring, growing up without a father, healthy living, stress, UnitedKingdom, waiting

We recently read about Diana's decision NOT to become a Choice Mom. Here is Part 2 of her story, when she decides to move into the Trying stage after all.

Posted August 3, 2010 at 3:40 AM

Diana: can I raise a child without a dad?

filed under: thinking, UnitedKingdom, profile, ChoiceKids, donor offspring, emotions, growing up without a father, open-identity donor, Europe, waiting

While in London I had the pleasure of meeting a woman at the Choice Mom gathering who told me about how she had decided some time ago that she definitely would not become a single mom -- partly after reading my "Choosing Single Motherhood" book. 18 months later, however, she's back on the path. I asked her to share her story about the thinking process.

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Posted July 24, 2010 at 3:20 AM

Notes from the U.K.

filed under: thinking, trying, waiting, being, research, donor offspring, emotions, support network, money matters, ChoiceKids, daddy question, event insights, UnitedKingdom, telling and talking, regional guides

Thanks to the generosity of Choice Mom Emily, I've been able to spend a wonderful 10-day holiday in London with my kids and parents. While here I met in Coram's Field with 14 women, including Moms, Thinkers and Tryers from Belfast, Dublin, Belgium and many others in the United Kingdom. I also met with a large group of Ph.D. students in Cambridge, who were interested in the Choice Mom story.

Posted July 20, 2010 at 3:05 AM

Donor conception "research"

filed under: anonymous donor, feature, donor offspring, ChoiceKids, insemination, sperm bank, commentary, research

I've been asked by some to offer comment on the study about donor-conceived kids that was released in May 2010 by the Commission on Parenthood's Future, in conjunction with the Institute of American Values.

Read More... | 4 comments

Posted June 29, 2010 at 8:00 AM

Q&A: Answering the questions of other kids

filed under: being, telling and talking, daddy question, ChoiceKids, donor offspring, emotions, growing up without a father, hot topic, parenting, QandA

submitted by Christy
My daughter is 2.5 years old. She is a little girl who doesn't need to ask a lot of questions, doesn't seem to need a lot of prep information, and simply adjusts at the time to whatever is happening around her. She doesn't yet ask why she doesn't have a dad, or who her donor is. But other kids are now starting to do so.

Read More... | 9 comments

Posted June 28, 2010 at 2:25 PM

Asking the Right Questions: Sperm banks

filed under: thinking, trying, donor offspring, ChoiceKids, feature, anonymous donor, insemination, open-identity donor, expert insight, tips, checklist

It is more important to start your donor search with selection of the right sperm bank, before identifying donor characteristics. Arm yourself with this checklist of questions to begin the process.

Posted June 25, 2010 at 7:55 AM

Insight: Testing your sperm bank's genes

filed under: donor offspring, fertility, genetics, insemination, miscarriage, expert insight, sperm, trying, anonymous donor

Egg and sperm donor banks must adhere to certain safety standards, related to infectious disease testing. However, the donors themselves are not required to have genetic testing. That's why it's important for you to know the standards of the bank you want to work with -- and know what questions to ask.

Posted June 17, 2010 at 3:10 PM

Do you know your genetic history?

filed under: donor offspring, fertility, genetics, insemination, miscarriage, expert insight, sperm, trying, anonymous donor

One advantage of sperm donor conception is that you are looking at your eggs and a donor's sperm much more scientifically than if you were conceiving with a man you fell in love with. That means you have tools at your disposal to prevent potential medical problems for your child. Your sperm bank might have evaluated your donor’s family history, but have you had yours evaluated as well?

Posted June 11, 2010 at 10:15 AM

New genetics research coming with Donor Sibling Registry

filed under: being, donor offspring, news, ChoiceKids, anonymous donor, research, genetics

I've long been fascinated with genetics. Partly because since my one sibling is adopted, I've always been mindful and curious about the nature vs. nurture questions. Now Wendy Kramer at Donor Sibling Registry is announcing an exciting new research project that will help explore some of these issues.

Posted June 7, 2010 at 8:25 AM

Notable documentarian tells her story

filed under: thinking, donor offspring, profile, emotions, support network, telling and talking

At a Choice Mom networking event in 2008, I had the pleasure of meeting Anne Catherine Hundhausen. Since then, she has told her Choice Mom journey in a highly recommended documentary, about the grays of the donor conception process for her. Here's her personal story.

Posted June 7, 2010 at 7:00 AM

Books about donor conception

filed under: being, donor offspring, ChoiceKids, resources, telling and talking, adoption, donor conception, insemination, expert insight, book

Some time ago a librarian wrote to me asking that I send my various books for Choice Moms and donor-conceived families to the Library of Congress for cataloging. This stemmed out of her discovery that there are very few books about donor conception available. She compiled this list, however, of everything she had found to that point.

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Posted May 18, 2010 at 1:40 PM

Coming to grips with donor conception

filed under: thinking, emotions, donor offspring, expert insight

Long-time Choice Moms adviser Patricia Mendell has created her own website that features articles and information of benefit to families conceived by donor conception.

Posted May 13, 2010 at 10:55 AM

Sex with a stranger

filed under: hot topic, thinking, trying, becoming, being, ChoiceKids, commentary, donor offspring, emotions, home insemination, known donor, sperm

Someone recently posted on one of the Choice Mom blogs that a friend of hers was intending to have sex with a stranger in order to get pregnant, and not tell the man. Not surprisingly, this made the friend uncomfortable.

Read More... | 4 comments

Posted March 4, 2010 at 3:50 PM

Our 3 biggest regrets

filed under: podcast, thinking, trying, emotions, being, ChoiceChat, ChoiceKids, doctor, commentary, daddy question, donor offspring, open-identity donor, open adoption, telling and talking

There are three things Choice Moms report in hindsight are their biggest regrets. What do you think they are?

3 Regrets in hindsight

What do women wish they had known before they embarked on the Choice Mom journey?

Regret #1: waiting (6.5 minutes)

Regret #2: doctor (11 minutes)

Regret #3: origin story (10 minutes)

Read More... | 3 comments

Posted February 20, 2010 at 4:35 PM

Why it's important to report a donor birth

filed under: podcast, waiting, becoming, donor offspring, policy

A majority of families using donor conception do not report births after the fact. This has a tremendous impact on the industry. The numbers of offspring born to a sperm donor, and even to egg donors, are generally vastly under-reported. If there is a genetic abnormality that surfaces in later years, families cannot be notified.

Tracking donor births

Tracking donor births

Posted February 20, 2010 at 8:45 AM

Building a family with donor conception

filed under: anonymous donor, ChoiceKids, donor offspring, podcast, open-identity donor, expert insight, ChoiceChat

I have talked to many experts -- including donor-conceived adults -- about the pros, cons, strengths and weaknesses of anonymous and open-identity donor conception as the method to building a family. Listen in:

Posted February 16, 2010 at 2:25 PM

Workshop: NYC, family origins

filed under: being, donor offspring, resources, support network, telling and talking, expert insight

Long-time Choice Mom support Patricia Mendell hosts a monthly conversation to help families learn how to talk about non-traditional family-building with their kids. Dates: February 24, April 21, May 26.

Posted February 11, 2010 at 5:50 PM

Do I Have a Dad?

filed under: being, daddy question, ChoiceKids, growing up without a father, expert insight, donor offspring, emotions, anonymous donor, open-identity donor, known donor, nyc, SanFrancisco, UnitedKingdom, telling and talking, donor conception, resources

We're building an audio library featuring the best of our Choosing Single Motherhood radio show and Choice Chat podcasts. You can order the first of this collection, "Choice Moms Answer the Tough Questions: Do I Have a Dad?" (formerly a CD product, available here for immediate $7 download).

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted February 6, 2010 at 8:25 PM

What anonymous-donor offspring think

filed under: podcast, anonymous donor, donor offspring, ChoiceKids, research

Have you wondered what offspring conceived from donor sperm think about as they get older?