Posted September 13, 2010 at 11:40 AM

What Choice Moms are listening to

filed under: podcast, feature, adoption, anonymous donor, becoming, being, commentary, daddy question, dating, emotions, event insights, expert insight, fertility, genetics, growing up without a father, healthy living, home insemination, known donor, legal, miscarriage, money matters, newborn, numbers, parenting, profile, resources, sperm, , stress relief, support network, thinking, trying, waiting, doula, ChoiceChat

Lately I have been hearing from women who would love for me to return to creating new podcasts. I took 2011 off from the work, but hope to return this year with new shows -- and perhaps a webinar series! I currently have 46 shows available, with more than 39,000 downloads. Here's what's available.

Posted October 21, 2011 at 12:35 PM

Q: More IUIs? IVF? embryo donation? adoption?

filed under: trying, fertility, thinking, miscarriage, support network, donor conception, emotions, adoption, embryo, QandA

For many of us, simply having sex with someone we love to produce a child is a great idea. But life being what it is today, women like us, busy with goals and options, have many more choices than we used to. We can delay child-bearing a few more years, generally into our 30s, sometimes into our early 40s. But when things don't go as easily as we would like, and we see the many options to motherhood available to us, how do we choose?

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted October 21, 2011 at 8:50 AM

NEW: Regional E-Guide for Toronto Choice Moms

filed under: Toronto, fertility, doctor, emotions, event insights, feature, trying, thinking, being, parenting, regional guides, support network, tips

I am happy to announce the launch of our regional e-guides -- compilations of resources and expert insight coming out of our Choice Mom Networking Events in particular cities. These e-guides will be of great help to women in those communities -- advice from local Choice Mom-friendly doctors, for example -- and some of the insights will certainly be of value to women everywhere, such as understanding what a doula might do for you.

Posted May 31, 2011 at 9:25 PM

Child? Relationship? Job Change? A Thinker's Dilemma

filed under: thinking, being, emotions, profile, QandA, support network

I recently heard from this woman, in search of some outside insight. And it's no wonder, when you read her story. Yet, it's not an uncommon dilemma. Many of us have been in this place. Or have faced similar indecision about whether Choice Motherhood is the right step. What do you suggest for her?

Read More... | 8 comments

Posted May 9, 2011 at 12:05 PM

Holly's Story: Part 2

filed under: support network, profile, being, becoming, thinking, ChoiceKids, emotions, stress, stress relief, house, work, Boston, simplify

After Holly shared her story with the Single Mother by Choice community, she received some wonderful feedback about dealing with the chaos of single parenthood.

Posted May 7, 2011 at 8:45 AM

Contemplating Motherhood

filed under: commentary, being, becoming, thinking, trying, waiting, adoption, insemination, support network, known donor, donor egg, emotions, parenting, profile, stress, stress relief, work, house, organization, fertility

This Mother's Day weekend I'm contemplating the good, the bad, and the ugly of Choice Motherhood.

Posted April 28, 2011 at 7:25 AM

Meet Cathi: North Carolina coordinator

filed under: NorthCarolina, thinking, trying, waiting, becoming, being, fertility, profile, stress relief, humor, support network, newborn, pregnancy, emotions, home insemination, regional guides, podcast

Any of you who have been following Choice Mom resources over the years is likely acquainted with Cathi. She found the humor in the stress of trying to self-inseminate, in learning about her own fertility, in being pregnant, in being the mom of a newborn, and now in being simply, joyfully, Mom. Here is her story in a nutshell.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted April 23, 2011 at 8:15 PM

NEW: Guide to Embryo Donation

filed under: embryo, fertility, trying, thinking, IVF, eggs, emotions, resources, SanFrancisco, LosAngeles, donor egg, doctor

One of the most exciting developments I see for Choice Moms in the coming years is the opening up of the relatively new embryo donation frontier for those women whose own eggs aren't working. New players in the field are working with single women.

Posted April 21, 2011 at 8:10 AM

Exploring IVF and Donor Egg

filed under: trying, fertility, Philadelphia, thinking, waiting, doctor, donor egg, donor conception, eggs, embryo, emotions, expert insight, event insights, insemination, IVF, multiples, resources, surrogacy

As we continue our look this month into alternatives to the "traditional" IUI route for Choice Moms, here are some great resources.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted April 11, 2011 at 8:20 AM

Single Mom Meeting New Daughter in China Today

filed under: waiting, adoption, profile, international adoption, ChoiceChat, being, thinking, trying, becoming, 2ww, emotions, having two

As we continue our look this month into alternatives to IUIs for women, I wanted to share this story of a Choice Mom I know who is meeting her third daughter today in China.

Posted April 4, 2011 at 10:45 AM

Are IUI and IVF not viable for you? Other options...

filed under: trying, waiting, adoption, donor egg, eggs, embryo, emotions, expert insight, feature, IVF, podcast, surrogacy, stress

Back in August 2010, two wonderful colleagues talked with each other in a radio show about moving beyond the "simple" conception options to surrogacy, adoption, embryo donation, egg donation and more. Here are highlights, and a direct link to the show.

Posted March 31, 2011 at 8:35 AM

Building a Conscious Home Environment

filed under: house, expert insight, Minnesota, emotions, money matters, simplify, organization, stress relief, tips

This week I learned in conscious conversation with a fellow church member/realtor that maybe I should NOT sell my house after all. I've had this mindset that to simplify my life I need a smaller house. Ultimately, I discovered while sitting down frankly with my 2010 spending habits, that it's NOT the expense that is draining.

Posted February 28, 2011 at 8:10 AM

The balancing act we all face

filed under: being, thinking, trying, waiting, becoming, stress relief, emotions, commentary

One of the hardest things I struggle with is finding balance.

Posted February 23, 2011 at 7:05 AM

My daughter is feeling sorry for me

filed under: commentary, thinking, trying, waiting, becoming, being, ChoiceKids, parenting, daddy question, dating, partners, stress, emotions

As we were driving through yet another snowstorm in Minneapolis the other day, so I could get my 11-year-old daughter to a birthday party, she suggested I get a husband.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted February 7, 2011 at 7:40 PM

What I've learned about Thinking

filed under: thinking, trying, waiting, becoming, being, profile, emotions

I wrote a few months ago, when I was starting my Thinking journey. I think I wrote because, as a Thinker, I needed to make contact with someone.

Read More... | 4 comments

Posted February 1, 2011 at 8:10 AM

On birthdays, disappointments and joy

filed under: commentary, thinking, trying, waiting, becoming, being, partners, emotions, inspiration, support network

My youngest turned 7 the other day. That means we're about to do his flower, representing the important people in his life right now. It's a favorite new tradition we created when the "family tree" assignments started five years ago, when my daughter was his age.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted February 1, 2011 at 6:00 AM

Jaime: Yes, no, maybe?

filed under: thinking, trying, fertility, profile, emotions, growing up without a father, partners, politics, telling and talking

We're kicking off February with a few stories of Choice Moms who intended to build a family with a partner -- and for various reasons didn't find the right One. In this story, we hear from a woman who has been through the wringer and is still torn.

Read More... | 5 comments

Posted January 23, 2011 at 6:45 AM

Paula: After my husband died

filed under: being, donor egg, eggs, emotions, profile, trying, IVF, fertility, growing up without a father, inspiration, money matters, becoming, partners

It's great to find this community, and I'm so excited to get to know you all! My story goes like this. I was married to a wonderful man, John....

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted January 21, 2011 at 9:20 AM

From Toronto: pregnant and fearful

filed under: waiting, profile, emotions, Toronto, thinking, trying, pregnancy

I started thinking about becoming a Choice Mom three years ago, when I was 34.

Read More... | 6 comments

Posted January 21, 2011 at 8:40 AM

Choice Chat: The ups and downs of adoption

filed under: thinking, adoption, Texas, trying, emotions, ChoiceChat, profile, feature, foster care, international adoption, open adoption, stress, transracial, waiting

Writes Valerie: "I've been at a bus stop for a month now.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted January 9, 2011 at 6:50 AM

Ateyah: Why I'm not becoming a Choice Mom

filed under: Thinking, profile, emotions, trying

I heard recently from this woman who is leaving the Choice Mom discussion group, and asked her to share her story about why she was on the journey, and why she is now leaving it.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted January 6, 2011 at 7:10 PM

UPDATED: Creating a Family website

filed under: trying, adoption, resources, emotions, donor egg, surrogacy, fertility, thinking

One of my favorite websites is CreatingaFamily.com, run by Dawn Davenport. Like me, she's developed a comprehensive resource for her community as a labor of love. Hers is specifically designed for anyone building families through adoption, egg and sperm donation, surrogacy. Here are highlights:

Posted January 1, 2011 at 10:55 AM

Goals: What emotion will you tackle in 2011?

filed under: QandA, thinking, being, waiting, emotions

Two years ago a woman on the Choice Mom discussion board wrote about the anger she was feeling about having to make the choice to become a single mother. By serendipity, I went looking for her on this New Year's Day, and discovered she hasn't posted since. As we usher in the new year, I wonder how many women have resolved certain emotions...and how many are stuck? I thought it was a great way to lead off conversation in 2011.

Posted December 28, 2010 at 12:20 PM

Choice Tips of 2010

filed under: resources, tips, thinking, trying, waiting, becoming, being, adoption, fertility, support network, QandA, regional guides, commentary, donor conception, emotions, event insights, expert insight, feature, home insemination, known donor, legal, money matters, newborn, parenting, organization, podcast, stress, telling and talking

Here it is! For a limited time, the special new baby for our Choice Mom community. Our Choice of ChoiceMoms.org tips from 2010, featuring everything from Organization to Building a Support Network, Q&A to Commentary.

Posted November 11, 2010 at 11:40 AM

Arlene: taking part in a support group

filed under: thinking, support network, trying, emotions

Arlene is a Seattle-based counselor and Choice Mom of a teenage daughter. I met her when she participated in one of my New York City networking events. She specializes in working with Choice Moms-in-the-making. Here are some of her thoughts:

Posted November 5, 2010 at 2:05 PM

Linda: on the verge of my first insemination

filed under: trying, thinking, support network, stress, emotions, profile

I love getting "thank you" emails from women on the journey. I recently heard from Linda, who allowed me to share her story here.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted October 8, 2010 at 2:20 PM

New support group forming in Minnesota

filed under: Minnesota, support network, emotions, thinking, trying

Krista Post, who launched a series of support group discussions for Minneapolis Thinkers and Tryers, is starting another group.

Posted October 7, 2010 at 12:20 PM

Dealing with jealousy and judgment

filed under: podcast, trying, waiting, emotions, expert insight, stress relief

How do you deal with your jealousy about other pregnancies and families...or judgment from others about your own? This podcast will help.

Posted October 6, 2010 at 10:05 AM

Our Top 20 Choice Mom-friendly therapists

filed under: thinking, emotions, expert insight, resources, support network, trying, fertility, adoption, healthy living, SanFrancisco, nyc, waiting, becoming, being, stress, regional guides, Minnesota, Philadelphia, LosAngeles

When you are feeling isolated, angry, depressed or confused about the Choice Mom path, the discussion boards have become a good place to vent and share. But sometimes we need someone who not only understands the Thinking to Being stages, but is specifically trained to talk with us about our emotions.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted September 18, 2010 at 2:05 PM

Dealing with the exhaustion of newborn days

filed under: becoming, newborn, parenting, emotions, support network, stress, profile, tips

A new Choice Mom admitted her exhaustion with the first months of motherhood. Women in the community chimed in with support. Here are two of the responses.

Posted September 17, 2010 at 12:50 PM

Therapists who understand the Choice Mom journey

filed under: thinking, trying, resources, emotions, stress, support network, nyc, fertility, adoption, regional guides

These mental health therapists have an interest in working with single women about grief, fertility, adoption, and other aspects of the Choice Mom journey. They have been recommended by Choice Moms.

Posted September 15, 2010 at 9:30 AM

Are you tired of the fertility rollercoaster?

filed under: NYC, fertility, trying, adoption, emotions, stress, healthy living, insemination, 2ww, expert insight, genetics, donor offspring, drugs, resources, miscarriage, telling and talking, thinking, transracial, waiting, money matters, eggs, foster care

Are you struggling (alone) with the weight of deciding whether to persevere with costly fertility treatments? There are mental health counselors who specialize in the fertility industry who are here to help you. This is great, detailed advice from one of them.

Posted September 12, 2010 at 6:45 AM

The worries of a newly pregnant Choice Mom

filed under: NYC, emotions, waiting, stress, expert insight, miscarriage, doula

A woman on the Choice Mom discussion board admitted that now that she had finally been able to conceive she was filled with worry about having a healthy pregnancy. This is not an uncommon reaction. I asked Joann Galst, a long-time adviser to the Choice Mom community and a New York City-based therapist, to respond.

Posted September 11, 2010 at 7:45 AM

9/11 reflections on motherhood

filed under: thinking, commentary, parenting, ChoiceKids, profile, stress, growing up without a father, emotions

On this 9/11 day, I wanted to reflect on the impact that day had on me as a Choice Mom. My daughter and I were living in New York City, about 20 blocks away from the World Trade Center, and until then I had no intention of leaving the city that had been my home for 18 years.

Posted September 8, 2010 at 7:45 AM

Thinking fears in South Africa

filed under: thinking, profile, emotions, international adoption, telling and talking, support network

I've been hearing more lately from women (and men) who don't have the easier community acceptance that many of us have grown accustomed to in North America. Here is one woman who reached out from South Africa, looking for community.

Read More... | 3 comments

Posted September 1, 2010 at 3:55 PM

Losing support -- and regaining it

filed under: thinking, trying, waiting, becoming, being, support network, emotions

After a single dad wrote in who was feeling isolated with his young child, ChoiceMom.org readers chimed in with their own insights. One of the comments was about something we've talked about here before -- your support network often won't be what you expect it will be -- and is worthy of new discussion here.

Read More... | 3 comments

Posted August 30, 2010 at 11:30 AM

The Thinking Guide

filed under: thinking, checklist, commentary, emotions, support network, telling and talking, resources

There is no 1-2-3 formula to deciding whether the Choice Motherhood lifestyle is right for you. But there are a lot of ways to try to figure it out. This is a good place to start.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted August 30, 2010 at 10:50 AM

Shannon: Help in the TTC process

filed under: fertility, trying, support network, emotions, 2ww, waiting, stress, profile

This excellent Choice Mom-in-the-making blog and post came to my attention when the author, Shannon, posted it on the discussion board. Anyone in the trying-to-conceive stage should read it.

Posted August 21, 2010 at 8:50 AM

Book excerpt: Newborn Baby Boot Camp

filed under: becoming, newborn, parenting, emotions, book, stress, humor

One of the things I loved about the new Choice Mom memoir by Stacey MacGlashan, "Just you and me, kid," was the insight she offered to other Choice Moms about the reality of the newborn days. Her kind reminder to women like us that attempting to be superwoman is just plain dumb. And her warning to pre-moms that you need a certain kind of stamina -- that most of us do have -- in order to succeed.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted August 18, 2010 at 5:00 PM

NYC: Choice Mom Guide

filed under: NYC, tips, expert insight, healthy living, emotions, organization, parenting, fertility, money matters, sperm donor, event insights, stress relief, resources, regional guides

I am happy to announce that Choice Moms® is launching a growing library of regional resource guides for the Choice Mom community. The first guide is now available, with its ongoing collection of insights and tips offered by experts and single women specifically from the New York City area.

Posted August 11, 2010 at 4:05 AM

Diana: Part 2

filed under: thinking, trying, profile, emotions, donor offspring, growing up without a father, healthy living, stress, UnitedKingdom, waiting

We recently read about Diana's decision NOT to become a Choice Mom. Here is Part 2 of her story, when she decides to move into the Trying stage after all.

Posted August 3, 2010 at 3:40 AM

Diana: can I raise a child without a dad?

filed under: thinking, UnitedKingdom, profile, ChoiceKids, donor offspring, emotions, growing up without a father, open-identity donor, Europe, waiting

While in London I had the pleasure of meeting a woman at the Choice Mom gathering who told me about how she had decided some time ago that she definitely would not become a single mom -- partly after reading my "Choosing Single Motherhood" book. 18 months later, however, she's back on the path. I asked her to share her story about the thinking process.

Read More... | 4 comments

Posted July 24, 2010 at 3:20 AM

Notes from the U.K.

filed under: thinking, trying, waiting, being, research, donor offspring, emotions, support network, money matters, ChoiceKids, daddy question, event insights, UnitedKingdom, telling and talking, regional guides

Thanks to the generosity of Choice Mom Emily, I've been able to spend a wonderful 10-day holiday in London with my kids and parents. While here I met in Coram's Field with 14 women, including Moms, Thinkers and Tryers from Belfast, Dublin, Belgium and many others in the United Kingdom. I also met with a large group of Ph.D. students in Cambridge, who were interested in the Choice Mom story.

Posted July 12, 2010 at 9:35 AM

How to get to "yes?" to this choice

filed under: thinking, WashingtonDC, emotions, tips

My favorite part of Choice Mom networking events this year is our opening large group discussion, when we talk together from all stages about the issues and concerns we have faced. In the D.C. event, we had several Thinkers who wanted to know how women moved comfortably into the Trying stage. The question being, "How did you get to yes?" In response, Tryers and Moms reported:

Posted July 5, 2010 at 9:20 AM

What's love got to do with it?

filed under: podcast, thinking, trying, fertility, stress, emotions, expert insight, insemination, SanFrancisco, inspiration

Even if insemination wasn't your first choice for having a child, there is still an important factor of love in the equation, as Maia Midwifery's Kristin Kali talked about at our Choice Mom event in San Francisco.

Fertility journey: Love and stress

At our San Francisco event, Maia Midwifery's Kristin Kali talked with women about the factors of love and stress in the fertility journey (9 minute clip)

Balancing love and stress

Posted June 29, 2010 at 8:00 AM

Q&A: Answering the questions of other kids

filed under: being, telling and talking, daddy question, ChoiceKids, donor offspring, emotions, growing up without a father, hot topic, parenting, QandA

submitted by Christy
My daughter is 2.5 years old. She is a little girl who doesn't need to ask a lot of questions, doesn't seem to need a lot of prep information, and simply adjusts at the time to whatever is happening around her. She doesn't yet ask why she doesn't have a dad, or who her donor is. But other kids are now starting to do so.

Read More... | 9 comments

Posted June 27, 2010 at 7:20 AM

Daily Meditation

filed under: commentary, thinking, waiting, being, inspiration, emotions, stress, reviews, book, trying

I recently discovered the book "DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy and Fulfilling Day." It is a great compilation of short philosophical insights from Madisyn Taylor, co-founder with her husband of the DailyOm website, including:

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted June 21, 2010 at 3:40 PM

7 Ways to Reduce Stress

filed under: SanFrancisco, stress relief, fertility, trying, emotions, support network, tips, healthy living

Stress is natural. No matter how much we might put into place to avoid it, stress comes -- daily. According to Caylie See, of Acupuncture Kitchen (San Francisco), "It’s important to focus not only on what causes us stress, but on how we deal with it." Here are her seven tips, courtesy of her affiliation with Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care.

Posted June 18, 2010 at 9:40 PM

The stress of fertility

filed under: podcast, thinking, trying, fertility, Minnesota, emotions, insemination, profile, stress, support network, waiting

One of the best gifts of Choice Mom networking events is when small groups of women on similar paths find each other to discuss their joys and concerns. Here's what women in the Trying stage talked about with counselor Krista Post.

Fertility stress

As strong-minded women, we can underestimate the anxiety of the fertility process. As someone who has experienced fertility challenges herself, Krista Post offered great insight on the importance of understanding what the success rates do and do not tell us. She also opened up the conversation for women to share the stress they were feeling about multiple attempts at conceiving.

Success rates (3.5 minutes)

Fertility Anxiety (7.5 minutes)

Posted June 18, 2010 at 9:00 PM

Telling others about this choice

filed under: Minnesota, telling and talking, emotions, support network, thinking

A group of women at a Choice Mom networking event discussed, with the help of counselor Krista Post, the nuances of talking about taking this path with close friends, family and colleagues.

How do we tell others?

At a recent Choice Mom networking event, counselor Krista Post facilitated a discussion about how women tell family and friends and colleagues about taking this path (15 minute).

Choice Moms talk frankly

Posted June 7, 2010 at 8:25 AM

Notable documentarian tells her story

filed under: thinking, donor offspring, profile, emotions, support network, telling and talking

At a Choice Mom networking event in 2008, I had the pleasure of meeting Anne Catherine Hundhausen. Since then, she has told her Choice Mom journey in a highly recommended documentary, about the grays of the donor conception process for her. Here's her personal story.

Posted May 24, 2010 at 12:30 PM

Support from city to city

filed under: support network, Minnesota, Seattle, Texas, Atlanta, SanFrancisco, NYC, WashingtonDC, Europe, event insights, UnitedKingdom, emotions, feature, resources, regional guides, LosAngeles, Australia, Canada, Chicago, NorthCarolina, Philadelphia, Toronto, Boston

I am happy to report that we have a new option to create five informal coffeeshop gatherings in a few cities in 2011. I'm reinvigorating an inquiry into which cities have women most interested in contact that they're not otherwise getting.

Read More... | 50 comments

Posted May 23, 2010 at 6:20 PM

My Waiting Journal: Jenn's story

filed under: waiting, IVF, stress, drugs, emotions, profile, fertility, 2ww, embryo, partners, healthy living

This collection of journal entries during the 2ww process was submitted by Jenn.
Day 1
This is the first day of my third 2ww. My first two IVF cycles failed. The first one was with my then husband, and I was so stressed out. I got OHSS. It was the summer of 2006. I got upset at him for every little thing, some things littler than others, and the schedule was difficult because we needed to move 1000 miles away between the retrieval and the transfer.

Read More... | 5 comments

Posted May 18, 2010 at 1:40 PM

Bumps after adoption

filed under: adoption, being, emotions, expert insight

Dawn Davenport at Creating a Family had a great radio show about the bumps that can occur after adoption.

Posted May 18, 2010 at 1:40 PM

Coming to grips with donor conception

filed under: thinking, emotions, donor offspring, expert insight

Long-time Choice Moms adviser Patricia Mendell has created her own website that features articles and information of benefit to families conceived by donor conception.

Posted May 18, 2010 at 12:10 PM

Talking out loud about sorrow

filed under: SanFrancisco, waiting, emotions, fertility, commentary, Texas, Atlanta, profile, support network

At the recent San Francisco event -- as was the case in Austin and Atlanta -- women spoke to me individually, or with the group, about the intense emotions they felt in not being able to yet BECOME Choice Moms.

Read More... | 3 comments

Posted May 13, 2010 at 10:55 AM

Sex with a stranger

filed under: hot topic, thinking, trying, becoming, being, ChoiceKids, commentary, donor offspring, emotions, home insemination, known donor, sperm

Someone recently posted on one of the Choice Mom blogs that a friend of hers was intending to have sex with a stranger in order to get pregnant, and not tell the man. Not surprisingly, this made the friend uncomfortable.

Read More... | 4 comments

Posted May 1, 2010 at 6:40 AM

Acupuncture and fertility: survey says

filed under: healthy living, stress relief, trying, emotions, research, expert insight, fertility

A member of the Choice Mom discussion board recently posted about a study that indicated acupuncture might have a negative impact on fertility. Since this runs counter to what the Choice Mom community has heard about the value of acupuncture on enhancing fertility rates, I went to some of the holistic healers who have talked with us in the past to get their perspective on the study.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted April 29, 2010 at 12:30 PM

Living in the moment

filed under: Texas, emotions, inspiration, tips, expert insight, stress

I admit that the idea of 'living in the moment' can sometimes seem laughable to a Choice Mom, who is so busy juggling day-to-day responsibilities that no moment seems to last long enough to live on.

Read More... | 1 comment

Posted April 26, 2010 at 11:25 AM

Minnesota resources: emotional support

filed under: Minnesota, emotions, support network

We had a wonderful first-ever Choice Moms Expo in Minneapolis (April 2010), with more than 60 adults mingling with insight and support -- as well as great childcare fun for 20 Choice Kids. Here are some of the tips and connections made.

Posted April 20, 2010 at 12:45 PM

Taming tantrums

filed under: Minnesota, being, parenting, expert insight, tips, ChoiceKids, emotions, stress

Interestingly, the most popular conversation circle at my upcoming Choice Mom Expo in Minneapolis is "Taming tantrums: yours and child," with parenting educator Denise Konen. Even 11 years into parenting, I didn't realize how important this topic is to our motherhood community. Here's one of the suggestions Denise has.

Posted April 19, 2010 at 12:20 PM

Managing Stress: #2

filed under: stress, being, emotions, tips, organization, work, simplify, house, commentary

I'm into week #2 of my attempt to live an organized life. And, I have to admit, being conscious of being organized makes you quite aware of how unorganized life is. But I think that's a GOOD step. Here's what I've learned about the stresses of single motherhood this week.

Read More... | 3 comments

Posted April 19, 2010 at 10:20 AM

Yee-ha: The public debate is on

filed under: being, ChoiceKids, commentary, daddy question, emotions, growing up without a father, hot topic, news, parenting, policy, research, support network, telling and talking

Well here it is...the public debate between a Glenn Sacks father's rights crony (Robert Franklin) and myself on PublicSquare.net. Read, laugh, seethe, comment. I actually love the opportunity to offer a rational perspective, even if my opponent has a decidedly different viewpoint. Such as Franklin's view that Choice Moms often trick men into having kids and then lie to keep them out of the child's life. Here's a synopsis, with links to the full debate.

Read More... | 7 comments

Posted April 5, 2010 at 1:10 PM

Spring break is done

filed under: stress, commentary, tips, emotions, organization, simplify, being

The kids and I recently had 10 days together for spring break. We did NOT travel this time. And I learned many things about how to successfully juggle. I'm going to try to incorporate it more effectively into daily routine going forward.

Posted April 5, 2010 at 12:45 PM

Surviving Newborn Boot Camp as a Single Parent

filed under: podcast, newborn, becoming, emotions, inspiration, organization, support network, stress, breastfeeding, work, fertility

An Australian woman who is going to college in the U.S. while raising a newborn, and a firefighter with two young children, share their tips about how to survive baby boot camp as a single parent.

Posted April 3, 2010 at 11:40 PM

Telling family and friends

filed under: waiting, emotions, growing up without a father, telling and talking, tips, support network

A woman wrote to say that her friends were sharing the news of her Choice pregnancy with others, including the fact that she conceived with an anonymous sperm donor, even though she asked them not to. She turned to the community to get advice.

Posted April 1, 2010 at 9:25 PM

When we do nothing...

filed under: money matters, thinking, emotions, expert insight, feature, resources, organization

I recently attended a talk by money counselor Ruth Hayden, author of "Your Money Life" workbook and many other resources for people who want to understand personal use (misuse?) of money and time. As she pointed out, the two are often linked. Here is some of what I learned.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted March 19, 2010 at 12:30 PM

Explaining "family" and "donor"

filed under: podcast, known donor, ChoiceKids, emotions, telling and talking, growing up without a father

When your uncle is also the sperm donor who helped your lesbian parents conceive, you might presume "the" conversation about your origins would be a hard one. And what happens afterward?

Telling the story

In addition to the "Do I Have a Daddy?" tracks available from this website, this growing library of audio clips (courtesy of Sepal Reproductive Devices and California Cryobank) helps us find the words, understand the conversation, and settle our nerves.

Real uncle is donor

When a lesbian couple turned to the non-carrying partner's brother for sperm, they knew they'd eventually have a big conversation with their daughter. (6 minute clip from upcoming radio show)

Posted March 10, 2010 at 5:05 PM

Carving out "me" time

filed under: commentary, ChoiceKids, emotions, parenting, stress, simplify, being

Do you feel rushed? Exhausted? Like you don't have enough time with your kids? Take five minutes out of your schedule to read and contemplate this. Then share an idea of how to pause in your own life every day.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted March 5, 2010 at 7:20 PM

The Trance of Scarcity

filed under: inspiration, book, thinking, commentary, emotions, support network

Are you thinking that life is unfair? That you might not be worthy of having a child? That Choice Motherhood is a path of defeat? That no one has chosen you? That you are an oddball for even considering this voyage? That your child would be branded as an outsider? Before you embark on this journey consider these words from Victoria Castle, author of The Trance of Scarcity.

Read More... | 2 comments

Posted March 4, 2010 at 6:15 PM

Q&A: Partner or child? A Thinker's (common) debate

filed under: thinking, QandA, emotions, growing up without a father, hot topic, profile

A 40-year-old woman has been involved for five years with a man who doesn't think he wants a child. They broke up a few years ago because she wanted a child, and he said he'd go along with it. But she now realizes that's probably not going to happen.

Read More... | 5 comments

Posted March 4, 2010 at 3:50 PM

Our 3 biggest regrets

filed under: podcast, thinking, trying, emotions, being, ChoiceChat, ChoiceKids, doctor, commentary, daddy question, donor offspring, open-identity donor, open adoption, telling and talking

There are three things Choice Moms report in hindsight are their biggest regrets. What do you think they are?

3 Regrets in hindsight

What do women wish they had known before they embarked on the Choice Mom journey?

Regret #1: waiting (6.5 minutes)

Regret #2: doctor (11 minutes)

Regret #3: origin story (10 minutes)

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Posted February 25, 2010 at 8:05 PM

When your clinic wants you to do a psych evaluation

filed under: podcast, thinking, trying, fertility, emotions, expert insight, support network, telling and talking, tips

It can seem off-putting when your fertility doctor asks you to do a psychological evaluation before embarking on Choice Motherhood. But it's common at many clinics.

Posted February 24, 2010 at 11:00 AM

My documentary about the Choice Mom journey

filed under: thinking, profile, resources, emotions, support network, telling and talking

submitted by Deirdre Fishel
I began filming "Sperm Donor X," a 54-minute documentary, when I was 40 and found myself at a precipice. I wanted to have a biological child, yet doing it alone with donor sperm felt bizarre and terrifying. I had no idea how my story would end and I wanted to find other women facing the same turning point.

Posted February 23, 2010 at 2:00 PM

My op-ed about the right to peaceful parenting

filed under: thinking, commentary, emotions, growing up without a father, telling and talking, parenting

I was asked by American Fertility Association to write an op-ed about my reaction to the stories, issues and disapproval I've heard about a single parent's ability to be the best they can be for their child.

Posted February 11, 2010 at 5:50 PM

Do I Have a Dad?

filed under: being, daddy question, ChoiceKids, growing up without a father, expert insight, donor offspring, emotions, anonymous donor, open-identity donor, known donor, nyc, SanFrancisco, UnitedKingdom, telling and talking, donor conception, resources

We're building an audio library featuring the best of our Choosing Single Motherhood radio show and Choice Chat podcasts. You can order the first of this collection, "Choice Moms Answer the Tough Questions: Do I Have a Dad?" (formerly a CD product, available here for immediate $7 download).

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Posted February 11, 2010 at 3:25 PM

Dealing with miscarriage alone

filed under: fertility, emotions, miscarriage, trying

Nothing seems lonelier than coping with a pregnancy loss on your own. This audio clip will help explain why it happens.

Miscarriage

Could I have prevented this?

Dr. Jim Toner (Atlanta) talks about whether miscarriage can be prevented

Posted February 7, 2010 at 9:25 PM

Known Donor tips

filed under: known donor, emotions, tips, thinking, trying

If you are using a known donor, you need to protect yourself emotionally as well as physically. Here are some tips: