Welcome single women trying to conceive!

Lately I have been hearing from women who would love for me to return to creating new podcasts. I took 2011 off from the work, but hope to return this year with new shows -- and perhaps a webinar series! I currently have 46 shows available, with more than 39,000 downloads. Here's what's available.

For many of us, simply having sex with someone we love to produce a child is a great idea. But life being what it is today, women like us, busy with goals and options, have many more choices than we used to. We can delay child-bearing a few more years, generally into our 30s, sometimes into our early 40s. But when things don't go as easily as we would like, and we see the many options to motherhood available to us, how do we choose?

I just returned from Orlando, where hundreds of specialists in reproductive medicine gathered for their annual convention -- largely focused on helping women get pregnant with up-to-date research and technology. Here is some of what I learned, and people I talked to.

I am happy to announce the launch of our regional e-guides -- compilations of resources and expert insight coming out of our Choice Mom Networking Events in particular cities. These e-guides will be of great help to women in those communities -- advice from local Choice Mom-friendly doctors, for example -- and some of the insights will certainly be of value to women everywhere, such as understanding what a doula might do for you.

Our Choice Mom-friendly fertility clinic in the Los Angeles area, C.A.R.E. Fertility, has created this Fertility Ties resource for helping U.S. women nationwide find a fertility clinic, egg donor agency, fertility pharmacy, and much more in their area.

A woman recently wrote about how exhausted she is about the Trying stage. Several IUIs, an IVF, lots of money spent. She was tired, out of money, and wondered if she should give up what has been an obsession to become a mother.

We have an excellent group of fertility experts who provide sponsorship of Choice Mom resources. Periodically we go to them with "Ask the Fertility Expert" questions. Here's one that appeared on the discussion board recently, and the response of one of the doctors in our network.

This is a good NPR story that lists some of the resources available to help fund IVF.

Some time ago, researchers at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom did a first-ever large-scale survey of Choice Moms to learn more about who we are. Now they have a new online survey for us to take part in.

This Mother's Day weekend I'm contemplating the good, the bad, and the ugly of Choice Motherhood.

Any of you who have been following Choice Mom resources over the years is likely acquainted with Cathi. She found the humor in the stress of trying to self-inseminate, in learning about her own fertility, in being pregnant, in being the mom of a newborn, and now in being simply, joyfully, Mom. Here is her story in a nutshell.

Two women from our 2010 Austin event have emerged to keep the conversations happening and the resources shared in that part of the U.S. Here's the story of one of them.

One of the most exciting developments I see for Choice Moms in the coming years is the opening up of the relatively new embryo donation frontier for those women whose own eggs aren't working. New players in the field are working with single women.

Choice Moms has recently started conversation with Embryo Donation International, which actively works with single women and lesbians who have neither viable eggs or sperm with which to start a family.

"Women trying to conceive often forget the importance of taking care of themselves," said Dr. Lee Kao, of San Francisco-based Laurel Fertility Care. "We often see patients who are so focused on caring for everything else that they actually decrease their success by not focusing on themselves first."

As we continue our look this month into alternatives to the "traditional" IUI route for Choice Moms, here are some great resources.

We all think we know how our cycle works. Until it's time to time ourselves for the purpose of insemination.

As we develop more (largely FREE!) e-books and other special guides for the Choice Mom community, I thought this would be a good place to list everything so far available. This list will grow, so keep checking back.

When I hosted the first Choice Mom networking event, in San Francisco in 2007, one of the sponsors was a new egg-freezing company. The concept was in its earliest stages.

We've been busy assembling new fertility resources for our large community in the Trying: Fertility stage. Use this link to our new page of medications involved in fertility treatment.

This Thinker shared her story on the Choice Mom discussion board after "lurking" for awhile, and there were so many good tidbits to share with the wider community that I asked for permission to excerpt it here.

We have a new fertility team in the Choice Mom network. I'm happy to introduce Dr. Rudy Quintero, who runs his own clinic in the Los Angeles area. His team is starting us off with some tools about ovulation detection.

We're kicking off February with a few stories of Choice Moms who intended to build a family with a partner -- and for various reasons didn't find the right One. In this story, we hear from a woman who has been through the wringer and is still torn.

It's great to find this community, and I'm so excited to get to know you all! My story goes like this. I was married to a wonderful man, John....

This new-and-improved website has been in operation now for nearly a year. I'd like to share some interesting new data about where we tend to be living, the stages we are in, and what we prefer to read on this website.

Thanks to some great referrals, San Francisco-based Alta Bates IVF is now part of the Choice Mom family of recommended fertility specialists.

Kim, 45, launched an interesting question on one of the Choice Mom discussion boards last week. She was curious what women thought about whether there was an age when it was "too old" to be a parent. Not in terms of conceiving, but just general parenting.

This is a wonderful article that takes a fresh look at building family in non-mainstream ways, which originally appeared in The New York Times in January 2010.

One of my favorite websites is CreatingaFamily.com, run by Dawn Davenport. Like me, she's developed a comprehensive resource for her community as a labor of love. Hers is specifically designed for anyone building families through adoption, egg and sperm donation, surrogacy. Here are highlights:

This documentary promises to be an interesting one for people using assisted reproduction technology.

Here it is! For a limited time, the special new baby for our Choice Mom community. Our Choice of ChoiceMoms.org tips from 2010, featuring everything from Organization to Building a Support Network, Q&A to Commentary.

There are several excellent FREE conversations happening in NYC about fertility, moderated by Carolyn Berger, LCSW. Check out the list.

If you have used eggs and sperm to create embryos outside of your body, as a growing number of families have done because of fertility challenges, the question naturally arises about what to do with the frozen embryos remaining in storage.

More Choice Moms are looking into embryo donation these days, perhaps because international adoption doors once open to single women seem closed right now because of protracted governmental regulatory issues. Here are a few things you should know about this growing family-building option:

Hi! I am a "thinker" with PCOS. I am definitely not the poster child for PCOS. I never experienced symptoms until my early 20s and I am not overweight. I am 28 in a few weeks and have been diagnosed with PCOS since January 2009. I will start from the beginning (this may be a little long).

Women on the Choice Mom discussion board are talking to each other this week about dealing with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). About 1 in 10 women find out eventually, often when they are unsuccessfully trying to conceive, that they suffer from PCOS, which is largely a hormonal imbalance.

At the recent ASRM convention for those in the fertility industry, Choice Mom friend and therapist Andrea Braverman led a discussion titled "Wrinkled Parents: Medical, Ethical, and Psychological Issues of Parenting at an Older Age."

Kristin Kali, our Choice Mom friend at Maia Midwifery, is not in the San Francisco area full-time anymore, but she is providing several unique fertility classes and consultations when she's back in the area. Here are the details for January.

I couldn't get to Denver for the annual ASRM conference in 2010 which featured the latest findings in reproductive health. But I did compile some of the great information links that came out of it.

As I've mentioned, one news source that I follow faithfully is BioNews, which publishes information about fertility and genetics out of the United Kingdom. Here are some of their latest reports of interest to the Choice Mom community.

It's amazing what we discover we don't know about how to conceive when we're really trying to. These three notable fertility specialists spell everything out on the "Choosing Single Motherhood" radio show.

Our two networking events in D.C. featured the excellent advice of Dr. Rani Abbasi, of Columbia Fertility Associates. Here's what she told us.

Given the large number of questions on the Choice Mom discussion boards about fertility, and the fact that many of us don't realize until late in the game how fragile our fertility is, I couldn't do this topic justice on the website and in our networking events without our Choice Mom fertility experts.

When you are feeling isolated, angry, depressed or confused about the Choice Mom path, the discussion boards have become a good place to vent and share. But sometimes we need someone who not only understands the Thinking to Being stages, but is specifically trained to talk with us about our emotions.

These mental health therapists have an interest in working with single women about grief, fertility, adoption, and other aspects of the Choice Mom journey. They have been recommended by Choice Moms.

A Twin Cities woman recently wrote to me asking if I had feedback from others in the community about fertility doctors. She was working with one recommended doctor where treatment seemed impersonal, and wondered if she was getting the kind of attention she needed at her age level.

Are you struggling (alone) with the weight of deciding whether to persevere with costly fertility treatments? There are mental health counselors who specialize in the fertility industry who are here to help you. This is great, detailed advice from one of them.

There is nothing that prompts more questions on Choice Mom discussion boards than when a single woman is purposely trying to conceive. We quickly learn how little we know about something we've been taught can be so easy. The Choice Mom Guide to Fertility gathers the most common questions and answers them, with the help of 15 fertility specialists we interviewed specifically for this book.

One great New York City-area resource for is the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center, run by Joni Mantell. Here are its workshops planned for Fall 2010.

By now I hope you've had a chance to explore the "support_network" keyword on ChoiceMoms.org, because I think this is the most important and valuable information any parent needs. But if you haven't seen everything we've offered here from fellow moms and experts, here's a shortlist of some of my favorite items in it.

I couldn't offer what I do on this website and at the Choice Mom networking events without the support of sponsors who specifically value the Choice Mom community. I've had the pleasure over the years of working with doctors from many Bay Area clinics. One of the warmest and most accessible of those has been Dr. Collin Smikle, of Laurel Fertility Care.

I couldn't do what I do on ChoiceMoms.org, and at our networking events, without the support of sponsors who specifically value the Choice Mom community. At the July 2010 New York City event, East Coast Fertility's Dr. Michael Zinger talked with women about their fertility concerns. Here's what he's offered us so far:

Many Choice Moms-in-the-making are dismayed to learn later in the game that they suffer from PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which is one of the leading factors of female infertility. PCOS affects approximately 1 in every 10 women, and of those, about 45 percent experience fertility challenges.

I'm hearing from more women who are interested in learning about egg donors and embryo adoption. It's been suggested that the door to adoption might seem more limited for single women right now, making egg donation a more popular choice. Whatever the reasons, this new Choice Mom has a story to share about her past life as an egg donor, for those who are curious about the women behind the scenes.

This excellent Choice Mom-in-the-making blog and post came to my attention when the author, Shannon, posted it on the discussion board. Anyone in the trying-to-conceive stage should read it.

We know that it is essential to understand your ovulation schedule in order to pinpoint the short window of success for insemination timing. But women often learn -- late in the process -- that temperature charting and ovulation detection kits don't always tell you what is important for you to know.

It's the nurses who often provide the most important relationship for a woman trying to conceive, because every appointment to the doctor begins or ends with a nurse's check-up of your emotional, physical and mental health. Here is a list compiled by nurses at Laurel Fertility Care (San Francisco) for Choice Moms, about what they encourage women to understand before agreeing to any treatments.

I am happy to announce that Choice Moms® is launching a growing library of regional resource guides for the Choice Mom community. The first guide is now available, with its ongoing collection of insights and tips offered by experts and single women specifically from the New York City area.

I'd love to get the input of Choice Moms who went through the donor egg process, as it's a topic that hasn't been discussed much yet at ChoiceMoms.org, and I've heard from many women lately who would like to learn more about it. Use the Comments field below to post your questions, stories, answers.

Miscarriages are more common than we realize. Often women deal with their grief alone -- and wonder whether there was something they could have done to change the outcome. We asked San Francisco-based Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care to explain why miscarriages happen, and how age factors in.

A hard decision for Choice Moms is whether to put a lot of money into one IVF attempt, or to try potentially multiple cycles of less expensive IUI treatments. Here's what one fertility expert advises.

Trying to purposely conceive, by quietly fitting doctor inseminations in with work schedules, is highly stressful. Kim Guay, of A Clear Vision Organizing, spoke to Choice Moms at our San Francisco event about how to stay organized, well into our future lives as moms.

I’m on the Amtrak from D.C. to NYC, having finished the first of back-to-back Choice Mom networking events. In D.C. we shared stories, tips and insight about:

Of the hundreds of stories I've heard from Choice Moms over the years, one of the most common threads I've heard in hindsight is "I wish I hadn't waited so long."

Whether you are inseminating at home, or with a doctor's care, here are 7 tips to help enhance your fertility, thanks to Dr. Lee Kao of Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care:

Even if insemination wasn't your first choice for having a child, there is still an important factor of love in the equation, as Maia Midwifery's Kristin Kali talked about at our Choice Mom event in San Francisco.

I have interviewed many fertility experts for questions specifically posed by the Choice Mom community. Here are audio clips from some of those conversations.

A woman on the Alternatives to Marriage Project Facebook page wrote that she was denied coverage for fertility treatments because she isn't married. She's on the Choice Mom path. Let's weigh in on which insurance companies do a better job of coverage.

When you don't have a partner to help you conceive, creating a baby at home can seem like a mystery. How do you do it? What do you need? Choice Moms sponsor Sepal Reproductive Devices will be offering regular tips on this website, starting with this one.

Egg and sperm donor banks must adhere to certain safety standards, related to infectious disease testing. However, the donors themselves are not required to have genetic testing. That's why it's important for you to know the standards of the bank you want to work with -- and know what questions to ask.

Stress is natural. No matter how much we might put into place to avoid it, stress comes -- daily. According to Caylie See, of Acupuncture Kitchen (San Francisco), "It’s important to focus not only on what causes us stress, but on how we deal with it." Here are her seven tips, courtesy of her affiliation with Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care.

One of the best gifts of Choice Mom networking events is when small groups of women on similar paths find each other to discuss their joys and concerns. Here's what women in the Trying stage talked about with counselor Krista Post.

One advantage of sperm donor conception is that you are looking at your eggs and a donor's sperm much more scientifically than if you were conceiving with a man you fell in love with. That means you have tools at your disposal to prevent potential medical problems for your child. Your sperm bank might have evaluated your donor’s family history, but have you had yours evaluated as well?

If you need to get creative about finding ways to pay for fertility treatments, here are a few tips from Choice Mom-friendly Laurel Fertility Care (San Fran):

Nothing beats the recommendation of fellow Choice Moms about the doctors they entrusted to help them conceive. Following is a list of Choice Mom-recommended fertility specialists, with live links to fertility clinics that have supported in the past year the Choice Mom resources you find on this website and at our networking events. Use the comments field that follows to nominate your own favorites.

When we are actively TRYING to conceive, it's amazing how uninformed we can feel about figuring out WHEN during the month is the optimal time to make the insemination attempt. Here from Choice Mom-friendly Laurel Fertility Care (San Francisco Area) are six tips for detecting your ovulation.

In this week's tips from Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Center (San Francisco) we discuss the importance, and methods, of building a fertility support team for yourself.

After you've learned about how to detect your ovulation, the next best thing would be to find out how the ovulation predictor products rate, from other women on the Choice Mom path.

This collection of journal entries during the 2ww process was submitted by Jenn.
Day 1
This is the first day of my third 2ww. My first two IVF cycles failed. The first one was with my then husband, and I was so stressed out. I got OHSS. It was the summer of 2006. I got upset at him for every little thing, some things littler than others, and the schedule was difficult because we needed to move 1000 miles away between the retrieval and the transfer.

Laurel Fertility Center of the San Francisco area became a Choice Mom sponsor in May 2010, which means they will regularly be featured on this website for tips related to fertility treatment. Here are tips from the clinic's Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh about how to get the most for your fertility dollar.

At the San Francisco event, organizational specialist Kim Guay of A Clear Vision Organizing offered these tips for getting ready for parenthood.

At the recent San Francisco event -- as was the case in Austin and Atlanta -- women spoke to me individually, or with the group, about the intense emotions they felt in not being able to yet BECOME Choice Moms.

A member of the Choice Mom discussion board recently posted about a study that indicated acupuncture might have a negative impact on fertility. Since this runs counter to what the Choice Mom community has heard about the value of acupuncture on enhancing fertility rates, I went to some of the holistic healers who have talked with us in the past to get their perspective on the study.

When we are trying to conceive, or keep up with our children, we often take a closer look at how to improve our health and vitality. Here are tips from Natural Health and Fertility Center, as offered at the first-ever Choice Moms Expo in Minneapolis.

An Australian woman who is going to college in the U.S. while raising a newborn, and a firefighter with two young children, share their tips about how to survive baby boot camp as a single parent.

submitted by Tania Tod, R.N., a blogger on her own fertility journey

If you suffer from polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), obesity and weight gain are common side effects. It can be hard to stabilize your blood sugar and maintain a healthy body weight, because of insulin resistance. But there are natural things you can do in order to control the side effects of PCOS and to lose weight -- both of which will improve your odds when trying to conceive.

When a Choice Mom-in-the-making posted several questions on the discussion board about FSH, I asked Los Angeles-based Dr. Arthur Wisot for his input. The woman wondered, since FSH numbers can vary from month to month, how successful they actually are at predicting an ability to conceive -- and to deliver a healthy baby -- and whether there are things under our control to improve that number.

This is a wonderful list of resources from Nurse Practitioners for any woman who is trying to conceive, from keeping track of period dates to taking an "Am I Pregnant?" quiz...to baby name sites...to prenatal care info...

A woman who currently lives in a European country that doesn't allow people to use donated egg or sperm asked the Choice Mom board for suggestions about where she might go for treatment options.

It can seem off-putting when your fertility doctor asks you to do a psychological evaluation before embarking on Choice Motherhood. But it's common at many clinics.

There is often a misperception among Choice Moms-in-the-making that pay for IUI or IVF might automatically lead more easily to pregnancy than a couple simply having sex. As one woman wondered: "Why are the success rates so low? If I have only a 1 in 5 chance of getting pregnant, should I even be attempting this because of the expenses involved?"

I asked Louisville fertility specialist Dr. Steven Nakajima to respond:

Here is good reading material to keep you company as you journey through the Trying and Waiting stages of Choice Motherhood:

Fertility Authority asked me to write an ongoing blog for the single parent community on its amazing website for people undergoing fertility treatment. Check out these posts:

Nothing seems lonelier than coping with a pregnancy loss on your own. This audio clip will help explain why it happens.

Perhaps the most common frustration expressed on the Choice Mom discussion board is the single woman who, in hindsight, wished she had started earlier to explore and use her own fertility. We tend to presume that if we have regular periods, are in good health, and are paying for costly insemination attempts with a doctor that conception will happen easily.

A fight broke out in the Choice Mom community when the subject of gender selection came up. When so many people are longing to have a child, being disappointed about having one gender over another seems indulgent to some. But it is common to have a vision about which sex you'll be raising.

Don't miss the special section about the costs associated with fertility treatment.
In addition, Choice Mom Marinela did a comparison of fertility drug costs by calling various pharmacies. Here's what she found:

The expense of fertility drugs is depressing, even for couples with two paychecks, or for people who are fortunate to have good insurance coverage for fertility treatment. Here are some options for learning more about absorbing the cost and finding good prices.

It is important to understand the success rates of an IVF center before you invest. There are wide discrepancies. Here is a compilation of resources to help you understand the IVF process, as recommended from Choice Moms.

Q: I am looking into having a child with donor insemination, but I am not sure where to begin, and what to expect about cost. What should I know?