Agencies and the Single Woman

excerpted from "Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide"

The agency you end up selecting will have a huge impact on how much you spend, how smoothly you will get through the home-study phase as a single parent, and what kind of information you will have about your child. You should check out the agency as carefully as they will research you. This is where the experience and referrals of adoptive parents groups play a vital role. Get an itemized estimate of costs, including hidden charges and wait time.

Check websites such as TheAdoptionGuide.com, Adoption.com and Adoption.org for sample questions to ask:

* What kind of family history will they try to secure?
* Will they help to get medical and developmental information about the child?
* How many children have they placed with single parents?
* Where do the children waiting for adoption come from, and how do they assess the placement services of other countries?
* What services are included in the overall fee, and what are not?
* How long will you have to decide whether to accept a child?
* What happens if you change your mind after acceptance?
* What counseling services are available, for you and the child?

Many agencies have a small quota of single parents they will place children with each year. Although it is legal in all U.S. states for single people to adopt, and generally for gays and lesbians to adopt (forthcoming article to discuss exceptions), that does not mean that an agency will consider the loving and stable home of a Choice Mom to be suitable, even if they cannot say so. Some will go through many intensive steps with you - including home study - only to drop the ball when it is time to find a referral. Ask how many children the agency has placed in single-parent homes.

In general, most agencies will want to see from single parents a solid plan for child care, support and role models. A large income and home ownership are not required.