If you decide to conceive with the assistance of a known donor, there are several critical legal steps that you should complete with him to clarify your expectations and intentions. It is important to have a known donor contract to protect your legal relationship with the child.
Note that (as of Spring 2010) in eight U.S. states these written agreements are legally binding recognition by the court that a known donor is NOT held to the same expectations as a biological parent: Alabama, Colorado, Delaware, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Texas, Utah, Washington, Wyoming. In other states there is not yet a formal statute clarifying the distinction. [Minnesota has tried, but Governor Tim Pawlenty has vetoed it.]
Listen to the “Choosing Single Motherhood” online radio show #13, which is specifically about negotiating with a known donor.
Pay attention to the fact that court cases DO arise with known donors, which is why careful work with a lawyer and counselor is smart to have the discussions you need to consider all the options. Here’s one court case, in the United Kingdom.
Click on the worksheet title below to download a PDF of information supplied by Ami to help you find the right legal expertise for a known donor negotiation.