Stacy: my story of coping with miscarriage

A Choice Mom had to terminate at 17 weeks because of chromosomal issues with a baby who was conceived after seven IUI attempts. She was heartbroken, and turned to the discussion board for support. Stacy is one who responded with her story of how she found the resources for coping with miscarriage.

“I’m so sorry for the horrible loss you’ve experienced. What a heartbreaking story.

Each loss is different in many ways, but I too have experienced a loss that took me to a depth of sorrow I’d never before seen before. It is scary and hard to imagine ever coming back from that. To come so close to finally holding a baby in my arms to having my dreams shattered and knowing that the moment I would become a mother was suddenly so far away I couldn’t even see it or imagine it. It’s a lot to process.

For me, I got into battle mode and fought my way back. I enlisted a team of professionals to help me heal. I don’t know why but I found that bodywork was really helpful for emotional healing. Especially acupuncture. My weekly regimen included talk therapy, acupuncture, massage, chiropractic care, lots of prayer, and attending a neonatal loss support group. Every little thing helped me. I put lavender aromatherapy all over my house. I had my niece come and pack up the baby’s room so I didn’t have to see any of it.

This last one was really difficult but was very important to my healing. It took a heroic level of self discipline, but I forced myself to count my blessings every day, and focus on what was good in my life. All of this may sound like overkill but it was exactly what I needed in those first few months. I believe it helped me survive.

I’m here for you if you want to reach out. I can’t believe what a difference a year makes. I still feel sad often, and I’m still not a mom, but I manage to experience joy and optimism again and it’s such a wonderful sweet relief.

I wish you healing and a bright future.


  2 comments for “Stacy: my story of coping with miscarriage

  1. Kasi Copenhaver
    April 2, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Hi. My name is Kasi Copenhaver. I’m a 33yr old lady who wants children more then anything else in life. I never dreamed of having a career or even a husband but I always new that I wanted to be a mommie. I started fertility treatment with IUI in 2001, I didn’t get pregnant until 2006. I was so excited that my dream was finally coming true. I entirely decorated the babies room and I still have everything. I mean everything, from the crib to the diapers, onesies, rocking chair and new PJ’s for me to wear after delivery. I lost my first baby at 16wks but the baby had only grown to 9wks. I quit trying after that because I was completely devistated and emotionally drained. The docs all said that I couldn’t get pregnant without fertility drugs because I didn’t ovulate. In January, of this year, a miracle happened. I met an amazing man, I never thought that I could love a man this much. My period was never regular but was never this late either. I went to my Doc, she did a pregnancy test and it was positive. We were amazed, estatic, I felt alive again, it was a gift from God. Everything was going beautifully but I was high risk and bleeding quite often. At 9wks the Doc told us to stop worrying about MC now because the chance had decreased dramatically. I really thought this was a true miracle, a gift from God, we were actually going to be parents but then I went in for a Nuchal Transluscience and there was no heartbeat. Two weeks prior our babies heartrate was 181, I just don’t understand how or why this has happened. All I want is to be a mommie to a happy healthy baby and now I have found a man that I know will be a great father as well, we just have to figure out how to have a healthy baby to complete us. Peace and love to all who are going through this rollercoaster ride of fertility drugs and trying to create another life.

  2. November 24, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    Don’t I know all too well about this. I lost my first pregnancy at 18 weeks. It was the worst experience of my life.

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