Welcome Tryers!

Lately I have been hearing from women who would love for me to return to creating new podcasts. I took 2011 off from the work, but hope to return this year with new shows -- and perhaps a webinar series! I currently have 46 shows available, with more than 39,000 downloads. Here's what's available.

Periodically on the discussion boards, or in individual emails to me, women will ask for information about Pacific Reproductive Services, which is a less well-known sperm bank that was formed in 1984 to help single women and lesbian couples who were facing discrimination in family-building from the medical community.

A woman on the Choice Moms Over 40 discussion board asked women to weigh in on her concerns about using Bravelle to try to conceive.

After waiting over a year for my adoption to finalize, I’ve accepted that I will never become a mother
through my current adoption program. I’ve learned a lot hard lessons along the way. The only
redeeming feature of my journey? The chance to tell others how to avoid a similar fate. If you are
considering adoption, here is what I've learned:

For many of us, simply having sex with someone we love to produce a child is a great idea. But life being what it is today, women like us, busy with goals and options, have many more choices than we used to. We can delay child-bearing a few more years, generally into our 30s, sometimes into our early 40s. But when things don't go as easily as we would like, and we see the many options to motherhood available to us, how do we choose?

Long-time Choice Mom supporter Patricia Mendell is hosting a one-time teleconference about egg donation on January 25. It is free!

I've been looking for additional sponsors to help develop Choice Mom resources, and one that has long been interested in working with us is European Sperm Bank USA.

A woman I have been in communication with over the years is a television producer who is ready to create a show about the Choice Mom journey, starting at the beginning of the process.

This funny compilation was started on the Choice Mom discussion group, where women have been periodically posting their own moments.

On our yahoo discussion group for Choice Moms on the journey after the age of 40, a woman asked for stories of hope from others who had paid that kind of money, at that age, and found success.

Once upon a time we all think we know how our lives will turn out. Then, bit by bit, year by year, we discover that we don't have quite as much control over that as we think we do. Some control, yes. But sometimes the control we have about our destiny has more to do with perspective than actual wish fulfillment.

This Wednesday, November 16, 7-8:30pm, a Family Building Network Support Group will meet with Choice Mom-friendly counselor Patricia Mendell in New York City.

I just returned from Orlando, where hundreds of specialists in reproductive medicine gathered for their annual convention -- largely focused on helping women get pregnant with up-to-date research and technology. Here is some of what I learned, and people I talked to.

I am happy to announce the launch of our regional e-guides -- compilations of resources and expert insight coming out of our Choice Mom Networking Events in particular cities. These e-guides will be of great help to women in those communities -- advice from local Choice Mom-friendly doctors, for example -- and some of the insights will certainly be of value to women everywhere, such as understanding what a doula might do for you.

Well...this is a very interesting article on sperm donors who work outside of the banks, and why some of them do it that way.

Our Choice Mom-friendly fertility clinic in the Los Angeles area, C.A.R.E. Fertility, has created this Fertility Ties resource for helping U.S. women nationwide find a fertility clinic, egg donor agency, fertility pharmacy, and much more in their area.

I'm very much looking forward to meeting Sarah at next week's Choice Mom event in Seattle. She's updated me on her journey a few times. And it's a great example of how life can unfold in unpredictable ways. Here is her story.

A woman recently wrote about how exhausted she is about the Trying stage. Several IUIs, an IVF, lots of money spent. She was tired, out of money, and wondered if she should give up what has been an obsession to become a mother.

We have an excellent group of fertility experts who provide sponsorship of Choice Mom resources. Periodically we go to them with "Ask the Fertility Expert" questions. Here's one that appeared on the discussion board recently, and the response of one of the doctors in our network.

If you live in D.C., Virginia, or Maryland, and are considering using a surrogate, this is a good legal overview of the laws in those areas.

This is a good NPR story that lists some of the resources available to help fund IVF.

Some time ago, researchers at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom did a first-ever large-scale survey of Choice Moms to learn more about who we are. Now they have a new online survey for us to take part in.

One of our Choice Mom-friendly legal experts, Chris Tymchuck, of Unique Estate Law, used third-party reproduction to build a family with her partner. Here is her special insight on what to know about the process of using a known donor.

This Mother's Day weekend I'm contemplating the good, the bad, and the ugly of Choice Motherhood.

Any of you who have been following Choice Mom resources over the years is likely acquainted with Cathi. She found the humor in the stress of trying to self-inseminate, in learning about her own fertility, in being pregnant, in being the mom of a newborn, and now in being simply, joyfully, Mom. Here is her story in a nutshell.

Our recent event in Philadelphia owed a lot to Diane, who convinced me of the need to host a Choice Mom networking event there this year. Then she set about turning the wheels to help make it happen. She'll continue turning the wheels for the local women.

Two women from our 2010 Austin event have emerged to keep the conversations happening and the resources shared in that part of the U.S. Here's the story of one of them.

One of the most exciting developments I see for Choice Moms in the coming years is the opening up of the relatively new embryo donation frontier for those women whose own eggs aren't working. New players in the field are working with single women.

Choice Moms has recently started conversation with Embryo Donation International, which actively works with single women and lesbians who have neither viable eggs or sperm with which to start a family.

"Women trying to conceive often forget the importance of taking care of themselves," said Dr. Lee Kao, of San Francisco-based Laurel Fertility Care. "We often see patients who are so focused on caring for everything else that they actually decrease their success by not focusing on themselves first."

As we continue our look this month into alternatives to the "traditional" IUI route for Choice Moms, here are some great resources.

When it was time to start finding coordinators to help Choice Moms do the work we do with the community, the first person I thought of was Kali, who has quietly been offering suggestions and moderation help for several years. Now you, too, can meet her as she steps out of the shadows to help manage our vast East Coast resources.

Curious about how many of us are in the Thinking, Trying or Mom stages? Here are the results of a recently closed Choice Mom survey.

We all think we know how our cycle works. Until it's time to time ourselves for the purpose of insemination.

As we continue our look this month into alternatives to IUIs for women, I wanted to share this story of a Choice Mom I know who is meeting her third daughter today in China.

As we develop more (largely FREE!) e-books and other special guides for the Choice Mom community, I thought this would be a good place to list everything so far available. This list will grow, so keep checking back.

Back in August 2010, two wonderful colleagues talked with each other in a radio show about moving beyond the "simple" conception options to surrogacy, adoption, embryo donation, egg donation and more. Here are highlights, and a direct link to the show.

When I hosted the first Choice Mom networking event, in San Francisco in 2007, one of the sponsors was a new egg-freezing company. The concept was in its earliest stages.

It's finally here! The Choice Mom Guide to Donor Sperm. Click here for the e-book, available as a complimentary guidebook for anyone who is choosing or has chosen sperm donation to build their family.

I have three requests in my Inbox, two of them quite unusual. Two of them for media-related projects. One related to a known donor for the San Fran area.

I'd like to refresh this "blog of blogs" and encourage anyone who is writing about her Choice Mom journey to include a link to it in the Comments field below.

Just as a Choice Mom I know is heading to China to meet her new five-year-old daughter -- after a LONG process that started before China closed its doors to single-parent adoptions, this good news just in....

We kick off our March focus on "conscious conversations" with this wonderful response by CNN's Jessica Ravitz to a Huffington Post commentary speculating why women like us are not married.

One of the hardest things I struggle with is finding balance.

Three noteworthy news items to share with you this week....

As we were driving through yet another snowstorm in Minneapolis the other day, so I could get my 11-year-old daughter to a birthday party, she suggested I get a husband.

Here's the article about Choice Motherhood in the newly published Los Angeles-based Jewish Journal. My thanks to the Choice Moms here who volunteered to share their stories.

We've been busy assembling new fertility resources for our large community in the Trying: Fertility stage. Use this link to our new page of medications involved in fertility treatment.

This Thinker shared her story on the Choice Mom discussion board after "lurking" for awhile, and there were so many good tidbits to share with the wider community that I asked for permission to excerpt it here.

I wrote a few months ago, when I was starting my Thinking journey. I think I wrote because, as a Thinker, I needed to make contact with someone.

We have a new fertility team in the Choice Mom network. I'm happy to introduce Dr. Rudy Quintero, who runs his own clinic in the Los Angeles area. His team is starting us off with some tools about ovulation detection.

My youngest turned 7 the other day. That means we're about to do his flower, representing the important people in his life right now. It's a favorite new tradition we created when the "family tree" assignments started five years ago, when my daughter was his age.

Thanks to Emily, as always, for stepping in as the primary voice in the United Kingdom to help women find their way on the Choice Mom journey. For our new emphasis on resources for our non-U.S. community, she started us off with this...

We're kicking off February with a few stories of Choice Moms who intended to build a family with a partner -- and for various reasons didn't find the right One. In this story, we hear from a woman who has been through the wringer and is still torn.

A woman on the Choice Mom discussion board asked what she could do to better guarantee her child's genetic health from an anonymous donor.

One thing I'm excited about is that in the coming months we will be featuring more content for our communities in Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia. Here is the story of one of us, currently living in the United Kingdom, that is in keeping with the February focus on "Partners."

It's great to find this community, and I'm so excited to get to know you all! My story goes like this. I was married to a wonderful man, John....

This new-and-improved website has been in operation now for nearly a year. I'd like to share some interesting new data about where we tend to be living, the stages we are in, and what we prefer to read on this website.

I started thinking about becoming a Choice Mom three years ago, when I was 34.

Writes Valerie: "I've been at a bus stop for a month now.

This woman is doing a potential TV documentary about Choice Motherhood and is looking for interviewees, ideally in the San Francisco area.

Thanks to some great referrals, San Francisco-based Alta Bates IVF is now part of the Choice Mom family of recommended fertility specialists.

A young law student, proactively planning ahead about eight years, asked women on the discussion board for their views on her plan. Here's what she wondered...

This London-based woman shared her story about weight loss, and finding a fertility clinic that will take her out of country.

I heard recently from this woman who is leaving the Choice Mom discussion group, and asked her to share her story about why she was on the journey, and why she is now leaving it.

This is a wonderful article that takes a fresh look at building family in non-mainstream ways, which originally appeared in The New York Times in January 2010.

One of my favorite websites is CreatingaFamily.com, run by Dawn Davenport. Like me, she's developed a comprehensive resource for her community as a labor of love. Hers is specifically designed for anyone building families through adoption, egg and sperm donation, surrogacy. Here are highlights:

A Choice Mom who is always thinking of ways to boost the community emailed recently to suggest a "sperm sharing" service.

This documentary promises to be an interesting one for people using assisted reproduction technology.

Here it is! For a limited time, the special new baby for our Choice Mom community. Our Choice of ChoiceMoms.org tips from 2010, featuring everything from Organization to Building a Support Network, Q&A to Commentary.

My favorite part of this website and the Choice Mom networking events are the opportunities to learn the stories of others in our community. Here is a compilation of some of the best stories of 2010.

This arrived as a comment to another post, and I thought it was a great conversation starter as a blog. "As a Thinker I tend to over-think everything. I believe learning to ask for help is a good philosophy for life. But what if all your plans fail and you have to do it ALL alone?

As I begin exploring the area of embryo adoption for the Choice Mom community, I am finding partners in the area who can talk us through the wide open frontier it seems to be right now. Here are my notes from one recent conversation.

A Choice Mom had to terminate at 17 weeks because of chromosomal issues with a baby who was conceived after seven IUI attempts. She was heartbroken, and turned to the discussion board for support. Stacy is one who responded with her story of how she coped after loss.

I went to a talk by a well-respected neighbor of mine, Dan Buettner, whose latest book, Thrive: Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way, is about tips he gleaned from worldwide research, database correlations, and conversations with individuals in the happiest cities in the world.

If you have used eggs and sperm to create embryos outside of your body, as a growing number of families have done because of fertility challenges, the question naturally arises about what to do with the frozen embryos remaining in storage.

More Choice Moms are looking into embryo donation these days, perhaps because international adoption doors once open to single women seem closed right now because of protracted governmental regulatory issues. Here are a few things you should know about this growing family-building option:

To be honest, I never wanted to be a single parent. After watching my mom try to work and raise a family, and being part of a family that often seemed to suffer because of work, I never wanted to raise kids by myself.

I submitted my application to adopt a child from Russia on or about December 29, 2004. I spent much of the next year engaged in the paper chase, trying to get documents signed, notarized, and submitted before the Russian government could changes the rules.

Women on the Choice Mom discussion board are talking to each other this week about dealing with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). About 1 in 10 women find out eventually, often when they are unsuccessfully trying to conceive, that they suffer from PCOS, which is largely a hormonal imbalance.

It took me over a year to decide to become a single mom. Once the year was over, the biggest concern for me was the financial aspect. I considered the cost of becoming a mother, being a mother, having a sick child.

Our Choice Mom-friendly therapist Patricia Mendell let us know about a special event this weekend in NYC for families (single and married) built through donor conception. There is also a second note here about her telephone group discussion this week on talking about donor conception.

Arlene is a Seattle-based counselor and Choice Mom of a teenage daughter. I met her when she participated in one of my New York City networking events. She specializes in working with Choice Moms-in-the-making. Here are some of her thoughts:

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is a great resource for information about foster care adoption. Here are some of the numbers they offered in National Adoption Month (November 2010) about the kids waiting in foster care for adoptive homes.

Kristin Kali, our Choice Mom friend at Maia Midwifery, is not in the San Francisco area full-time anymore, but she is providing several unique fertility classes and consultations when she's back in the area. Here are the details for January.

I love getting "thank you" emails from women on the journey. I recently heard from Linda, who allowed me to share her story here.

There is a national discussion starting in the Australian Parliament about how to regulate and legislate donor conception practices across federal and state lines.

Some years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Dan Buettner, a noted explorer with a special interest in healthy living and a particular gift for making things happen.

There are a lot of things to misunderstand about adoption. Test your knowledge here.

Tis the season. There is fun in Halloween tricks and treats with our kids. But for many, also the conflicts that come from the community time of Thanksgiving, Chanukkah, Christmas, New Year's. Feelings of isolation as summer frolicking turns into the more contemplative Fall and reclusive Winter seasons.

I couldn't get to Denver for the annual ASRM conference in 2010 which featured the latest findings in reproductive health. But I did compile some of the great information links that came out of it.

Several years ago I got a call from the long-time co-founder of California Cryobank (CCB), gently and intelligently "checking me out" as an educational partner in his attempt to help his colleagues in the sperm bank industry understand why some policies needed to change. Since then...

Our first networking event of 2011 will be held near Raleigh, North Carolina, at The Umstead Hotel and Spa in Cary. Only three seats remain! Registration ends Wednesday, March 16.

At the ASRM convention in 2009 for reproductive medicine specialists, I finally found a company I wanted to work with for our many women pursuing at-home insemination. Since then, Sepal Reproductive Devices has become a primary sponsor of our Choice Chat podcasts.

As I've mentioned, one news source that I follow faithfully is BioNews, which publishes information about fertility and genetics out of the United Kingdom. Here are some of their latest reports of interest to the Choice Mom community.

It's amazing what we discover we don't know about how to conceive when we're really trying to. These three notable fertility specialists spell everything out on the "Choosing Single Motherhood" radio show.

Given the large number of questions on the Choice Mom discussion boards about fertility, and the fact that many of us don't realize until late in the game how fragile our fertility is, I couldn't do this topic justice on the website and in our networking events without our Choice Mom fertility experts.

Krista Post, who launched a series of support group discussions for Minneapolis Thinkers and Tryers, is starting another group.

How do you deal with your jealousy about other pregnancies and families...or judgment from others about your own? This podcast will help.

When you are feeling isolated, angry, depressed or confused about the Choice Mom path, the discussion boards have become a good place to vent and share. But sometimes we need someone who not only understands the Thinking to Being stages, but is specifically trained to talk with us about our emotions.

I am frequently asked by reporters how big the Choice Mom community is. While there is no census-taking data that reveals the answer, I can use our discussion boards as a way to gauge growth -- and the types of things we are most interested in talking about.

The American Fertility Association has a good overview of states in the U.S. where gays and lesbians are welcome.

These mental health therapists have an interest in working with single women about grief, fertility, adoption, and other aspects of the Choice Mom journey. They have been recommended by Choice Moms.

A woman who is preparing to write about the Choice Motherhood lifestyle in a community that doesn't think single parenting is such a good thing asked me to offer some resources. I realized that many of you might benefit from some of it, in your own conversations with others.

ONLY TEN COPIES LEFT IN PRINT! Years ago I collaborated with Wendy and Ryan Kramer, the mother-and-son co-founders of Donor Sibling Registry, on some new tools for families created by donor conception. This was one of them.

Are you struggling (alone) with the weight of deciding whether to persevere with costly fertility treatments? There are mental health counselors who specialize in the fertility industry who are here to help you. This is great, detailed advice from one of them.

There is nothing that prompts more questions on Choice Mom discussion boards than when a single woman is purposely trying to conceive. We quickly learn how little we know about something we've been taught can be so easy. The Choice Mom Guide to Fertility gathers the most common questions and answers them, with the help of 15 fertility specialists we interviewed specifically for this book.

In National Adoption Month I want to share some of the stories of single women who have become mothers because of adoption.

This is one in a series of Q&As I am conducting with members of the donor sperm industry. The goal is to help educate Choice Moms-in-the-making about important policies that should help inform their decision about which bank to work with, even before choosing a donor.

I met Vanessa at the Choice Mom networking event in London (July 2010). She is developing community connections for Choice Moms in her area, and had these tips to share about the pros and cons of Belgium as a fertility treatment option for single women.

I’ve noticed an interesting trend the last few years in the stories I’m learning about through this website, and the Choice Mom networking events. Many of the women choosing single motherhood these days are younger than what I would consider the norm. I asked some of these women to share their stories on ChoiceMoms.org.

One great New York City-area resource for is the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center, run by Joni Mantell. Here are its workshops planned for Fall 2010.

By now I hope you've had a chance to explore the "support_network" keyword on ChoiceMoms.org, because I think this is the most important and valuable information any parent needs. But if you haven't seen everything we've offered here from fellow moms and experts, here's a shortlist of some of my favorite items in it.

Many Choice Moms-in-the-making are dismayed to learn later in the game that they suffer from PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which is one of the leading factors of female infertility. PCOS affects approximately 1 in every 10 women, and of those, about 45 percent experience fertility challenges.

After a single dad wrote in who was feeling isolated with his young child, ChoiceMom.org readers chimed in with their own insights. One of the comments was about something we've talked about here before -- your support network often won't be what you expect it will be -- and is worthy of new discussion here.

This excellent Choice Mom-in-the-making blog and post came to my attention when the author, Shannon, posted it on the discussion board. Anyone in the trying-to-conceive stage should read it.

submitted by Lori
Will you ever have to prove your donor child doesn’t have a father? When I gave birth to my daughter via anonymous donor IUI in 1999, I hoped that the information regarding her father would be left blank on her birth certificate.

Thanks to Choice Moms sponsor Sepal Reproductive Devices, which offers products and insight for women using home insemination, for these guidelines on working with a known donor.

This is one in a series of policy comparisons ChoiceMoms.org is developing about the donor sperm industry. It's important for Choice Moms to be comfortable not only with a particular donor, but with the sperm bank that recruits and tests him. No one regulates the industry and women should understand the differences between banks before they "get in bed" with any donor.

This woman shared her story on the Choice Moms discussion board, and I thought it was a great reminder to women using a known donor: Make sure you talk about sperm testing before spending too much time trying to conceive.

I'd love to get the input of Choice Moms who went through the donor egg process, as it's a topic that hasn't been discussed much yet at ChoiceMoms.org, and I've heard from many women lately who would like to learn more about it. Use the Comments field below to post your questions, stories, answers.

Miscarriages are more common than we realize. Often women deal with their grief alone -- and wonder whether there was something they could have done to change the outcome. We asked San Francisco-based Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care to explain why miscarriages happen, and how age factors in.

It's hard for self-sufficient women to ask for help -- or even acknowledge to ourselves that we need it. But we do. Even more than we care to admit, because we tend to be so hard on ourselves. This month I'm thinking about the kinds of support Choice Moms need, and how we can get and give it as a community.

We recently read about Diana's decision NOT to become a Choice Mom. Here is Part 2 of her story, when she decides to move into the Trying stage after all.

Thanks to the generosity of Choice Mom Emily, I've been able to spend a wonderful 10-day holiday in London with my kids and parents. While here I met in Coram's Field with 14 women, including Moms, Thinkers and Tryers from Belfast, Dublin, Belgium and many others in the United Kingdom. I also met with a large group of Ph.D. students in Cambridge, who were interested in the Choice Mom story.

Trying to purposely conceive, by quietly fitting doctor inseminations in with work schedules, is highly stressful. Kim Guay, of A Clear Vision Organizing, spoke to Choice Moms at our San Francisco event about how to stay organized, well into our future lives as moms.

At the Choice Moms networking event in D.C., Birthing Hands doula Claudia Booker offered many great tips for women about how to build a support network. She reiterated the importance of preparing for this well before the baby arrives. Some of her suggestions:

Of the hundreds of stories I've heard from Choice Moms over the years, one of the most common threads I've heard in hindsight is "I wish I hadn't waited so long."

Even if insemination wasn't your first choice for having a child, there is still an important factor of love in the equation, as Maia Midwifery's Kristin Kali talked about at our Choice Mom event in San Francisco.

I have interviewed many fertility experts for questions specifically posed by the Choice Mom community. Here are audio clips from some of those conversations.

A woman on the Alternatives to Marriage Project Facebook page wrote that she was denied coverage for fertility treatments because she isn't married. She's on the Choice Mom path. Let's weigh in on which insurance companies do a better job of coverage.

It is more important to start your donor search with selection of the right sperm bank, before identifying donor characteristics. Arm yourself with this checklist of questions to begin the process.

I recently discovered the book "DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy and Fulfilling Day." It is a great compilation of short philosophical insights from Madisyn Taylor, co-founder with her husband of the DailyOm website, including:

When you don't have a partner to help you conceive, creating a baby at home can seem like a mystery. How do you do it? What do you need? Choice Moms sponsor Sepal Reproductive Devices will be offering regular tips on this website, starting with this one.

Egg and sperm donor banks must adhere to certain safety standards, related to infectious disease testing. However, the donors themselves are not required to have genetic testing. That's why it's important for you to know the standards of the bank you want to work with -- and know what questions to ask.

Choice Mom Deb suggested this fun idea, in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." We're now creating our own list for "You Know You Might Be a Choice Mom If..." She got us started.

Stress is natural. No matter how much we might put into place to avoid it, stress comes -- daily. According to Caylie See, of Acupuncture Kitchen (San Francisco), "It’s important to focus not only on what causes us stress, but on how we deal with it." Here are her seven tips, courtesy of her affiliation with Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care.

One of the best gifts of Choice Mom networking events is when small groups of women on similar paths find each other to discuss their joys and concerns. Here's what women in the Trying stage talked about with counselor Krista Post.

One advantage of sperm donor conception is that you are looking at your eggs and a donor's sperm much more scientifically than if you were conceiving with a man you fell in love with. That means you have tools at your disposal to prevent potential medical problems for your child. Your sperm bank might have evaluated your donor’s family history, but have you had yours evaluated as well?

If you need to get creative about finding ways to pay for fertility treatments, here are a few tips from Choice Mom-friendly Laurel Fertility Care (San Fran):

When we are actively TRYING to conceive, it's amazing how uninformed we can feel about figuring out WHEN during the month is the optimal time to make the insemination attempt. Here from Choice Mom-friendly Laurel Fertility Care (San Francisco Area) are six tips for detecting your ovulation.

submitted by WarnerMom
One woman's search for her child, weaving through many non-traditional options.

After you've learned about how to detect your ovulation, the next best thing would be to find out how the ovulation predictor products rate, from other women on the Choice Mom path.

At the San Francisco event, organizational specialist Kim Guay of A Clear Vision Organizing offered these tips for getting ready for parenthood.

Someone recently posted on one of the Choice Mom blogs that a friend of hers was intending to have sex with a stranger in order to get pregnant, and not tell the man. Not surprisingly, this made the friend uncomfortable.

At the Choice Moms Expo in Minneapolis, local sperm bank director Amy Erickson-Hagen of Cryogenic Laboratories talked to women about how to select the right sperm donor.

A member of the Choice Mom discussion board recently posted about a study that indicated acupuncture might have a negative impact on fertility. Since this runs counter to what the Choice Mom community has heard about the value of acupuncture on enhancing fertility rates, I went to some of the holistic healers who have talked with us in the past to get their perspective on the study.

It's been a big week for keeping up with media requests. NOT, as I had expected, because of my recent debate with a father's rights advocate (thanks to ALL of you for adding your voice to the comments on PublicSquare.net that show our rationality), but simply accidental. Thought you might be interested in hearing what I've been repeating this week about who we are.

Uber organized Jessica, a Choice Mom in every way, will deliver her first child in a few months. While she was in the Thinking process -- preceding a long Trying phase -- she developed a worksheet that calculated how much she would need to spend trying to conceive, for prenatal care, for newborn items, and for post-delivery childcare expenses for a year. Here are the numbers she came up with.

There are three things Choice Moms report in hindsight are their biggest regrets. What do you think they are?

A woman who currently lives in a European country that doesn't allow people to use donated egg or sperm asked the Choice Mom board for suggestions about where she might go for treatment options.

It can seem off-putting when your fertility doctor asks you to do a psychological evaluation before embarking on Choice Motherhood. But it's common at many clinics.

Karen offered this up on the discussion board. "After my 3-year-old god-daughter ran around the sushi bar last night repeating "sperm" and NOT using her indoor voice, I came up with these code phrases to talk about donor insemination:

Here is good reading material to keep you company as you journey through the Trying and Waiting stages of Choice Motherhood:

There have been several documentaries made about the Choice Mom lifestyle. Here are clips from a few of them:

Fertility Authority asked me to write an ongoing blog for the single parent community on its amazing website for people undergoing fertility treatment. Check out these posts:

Nothing seems lonelier than coping with a pregnancy loss on your own. This audio clip will help explain why it happens.

Listen to this growing library of clips and podcast excerpts about home insemination.

There are some creative and practical methods to adoption, even for today's single. Listen to this insight from single women who have adopted.

Perhaps the most common frustration expressed on the Choice Mom discussion board is the single woman who, in hindsight, wished she had started earlier to explore and use her own fertility. We tend to presume that if we have regular periods, are in good health, and are paying for costly insemination attempts with a doctor that conception will happen easily.

If you are using a known donor, you need to protect yourself emotionally as well as physically. Here are some tips:

If you decide to conceive with the assistance of a known donor, there are several critical legal steps that you should complete with him to clarify your expectations and intentions. It is important to take these steps to protect your legal relationship with the child.

A fight broke out in the Choice Mom community when the subject of gender selection came up. When so many people are longing to have a child, being disappointed about having one gender over another seems indulgent to some. But it is common to have a vision about which sex you'll be raising.

A fatal heart condition was passed on to at least nine of a donor's 24 children. While screening for all genetic issues is not possible, the question is: if this came to light for your donor, how would you (and the donor) learn about it? Read new comments on this post, and add your own for our report card.

Q: I am looking into having a child with donor insemination, but I am not sure where to begin, and what to expect about cost. What should I know?