Welcome Tryers!

After a single dad wrote in who was feeling isolated with his young child, ChoiceMom.org readers chimed in with their own insights. One of the comments was about something we've talked about here before -- your support network often won't be what you expect it will be -- and is worthy of new discussion here.

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Will you ever have to prove your donor child doesn’t have a father? When I gave birth to my daughter via anonymous donor IUI in 1999, I hoped that the information regarding her father would be left blank on her birth certificate.

Thanks to Choice Moms sponsor Sepal Reproductive Devices, which offers products and insight for women using home insemination, for these guidelines on working with a known donor.

This woman shared her story on the Choice Moms discussion board, and I thought it was a great reminder to women using a known donor: Make sure you talk about sperm testing before spending too much time trying to conceive.

I'd love to get the input of Choice Moms who went through the donor egg process, as it's a topic that hasn't been discussed much yet at ChoiceMoms.org, and I've heard from many women lately who would like to learn more about it. Use the Comments field below to post your questions, stories, answers.

Miscarriages are more common than we realize. Often women deal with their grief alone -- and wonder whether there was something they could have done to change the outcome. We asked San Francisco-based Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care to explain why miscarriages happen, and how age factors in.

It's hard for self-sufficient women to ask for help -- or even acknowledge to ourselves that we need it. But we do. Even more than we care to admit, because we tend to be so hard on ourselves. This month I'm thinking about the kinds of support Choice Moms need, and how we can get and give it as a community.

We recently read about Diana's decision NOT to become a Choice Mom. Here is Part 2 of her story, when she decides to move into the Trying stage after all.

Thanks to the generosity of Choice Mom Emily, I've been able to spend a wonderful 10-day holiday in London with my kids and parents. While here I met in Coram's Field with 14 women, including Moms, Thinkers and Tryers from Belfast, Dublin, Belgium and many others in the United Kingdom. I also met with a large group of Ph.D. students in Cambridge, who were interested in the Choice Mom story.

At the Choice Moms networking event in D.C., Birthing Hands doula Claudia Booker offered many great tips for women about how to build a support network. She reiterated the importance of preparing for this well before the baby arrives. Some of her suggestions:

Of the hundreds of stories I've heard from Choice Moms over the years, one of the most common threads I've heard in hindsight is "I wish I hadn't waited so long."

Even if insemination wasn't your first choice for having a child, there is still an important factor of love in the equation, as Maia Midwifery's Kristin Kali talked about at our Choice Mom event in San Francisco.

I have interviewed many fertility experts for questions specifically posed by the Choice Mom community. Here are audio clips from some of those conversations.

A woman on the Alternatives to Marriage Project Facebook page wrote that she was denied coverage for fertility treatments because she isn't married. She's on the Choice Mom path. Let's weigh in on which insurance companies do a better job of coverage.

It is more important to start your donor search with selection of the right sperm bank, before identifying donor characteristics. Arm yourself with this checklist of questions to begin the process.

When you don't have a partner to help you conceive, creating a baby at home can seem like a mystery. How do you do it? What do you need? Choice Moms sponsor Sepal Reproductive Devices will be offering regular tips on this website, starting with this one.

Egg and sperm donor banks must adhere to certain safety standards, related to infectious disease testing. However, the donors themselves are not required to have genetic testing. That's why it's important for you to know the standards of the bank you want to work with -- and know what questions to ask.

Choice Mom Deb suggested this fun idea, in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." We're now creating our own list for "You Know You Might Be a Choice Mom If..." She got us started.

Stress is natural. No matter how much we might put into place to avoid it, stress comes -- daily. According to Caylie See, of Acupuncture Kitchen (San Francisco), "It’s important to focus not only on what causes us stress, but on how we deal with it." Here are her seven tips, courtesy of her affiliation with Choice Mom sponsor Laurel Fertility Care.

One of the best gifts of Choice Mom networking events is when small groups of women on similar paths find each other to discuss their joys and concerns. Here's what women in the Trying stage talked about with counselor Krista Post.

One advantage of sperm donor conception is that you are looking at your eggs and a donor's sperm much more scientifically than if you were conceiving with a man you fell in love with. That means you have tools at your disposal to prevent potential medical problems for your child. Your sperm bank might have evaluated your donor’s family history, but have you had yours evaluated as well?

If you need to get creative about finding ways to pay for fertility treatments, here are a few tips from Choice Mom-friendly Laurel Fertility Care (San Fran):

When we are actively TRYING to conceive, it's amazing how uninformed we can feel about figuring out WHEN during the month is the optimal time to make the insemination attempt. Here from Choice Mom-friendly Laurel Fertility Care (San Francisco Area) are six tips for detecting your ovulation.

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One woman's search for her child, weaving through many non-traditional options.

After you've learned about how to detect your ovulation, the next best thing would be to find out how the ovulation predictor products rate, from other women on the Choice Mom path.

At the San Francisco event, organizational specialist Kim Guay of A Clear Vision Organizing offered these tips for getting ready for parenthood.

At the Choice Moms Expo in Minneapolis, local sperm bank director Amy Erickson-Hagen of Cryogenic Laboratories talked to women about how to select the right sperm donor.

A member of the Choice Mom discussion board recently posted about a study that indicated acupuncture might have a negative impact on fertility. Since this runs counter to what the Choice Mom community has heard about the value of acupuncture on enhancing fertility rates, I went to some of the holistic healers who have talked with us in the past to get their perspective on the study.

It's been a big week for keeping up with media requests. NOT, as I had expected, because of my recent debate with a father's rights advocate (thanks to ALL of you for adding your voice to the comments on PublicSquare.net that show our rationality), but simply accidental. Thought you might be interested in hearing what I've been repeating this week about who we are.

Uber organized Jessica, a Choice Mom in every way, will deliver her first child in a few months. While she was in the Thinking process -- preceding a long Trying phase -- she developed a worksheet that calculated how much she would need to spend trying to conceive, for prenatal care, for newborn items, and for post-delivery childcare expenses for a year. Here are the numbers she came up with.

There are three things Choice Moms report in hindsight are their biggest regrets. What do you think they are?

A woman who currently lives in a European country that doesn't allow people to use donated egg or sperm asked the Choice Mom board for suggestions about where she might go for treatment options.

It can seem off-putting when your fertility doctor asks you to do a psychological evaluation before embarking on Choice Motherhood. But it's common at many clinics.

Here is good reading material to keep you company as you journey through the Trying and Waiting stages of Choice Motherhood:

One of my favorite resources for adopting parents is CreatingaFamily.com, run by Dawn Davenport. Like me, she's developed a comprehensive resource for her community as a labor of love. She also has wonderful content for women experiencing fertility challenges. Here is some of her website content:

Listen to this growing library of clips and podcast excerpts about home insemination.

Perhaps the most common frustration expressed on the Choice Mom discussion board is the single woman who, in hindsight, wished she had started earlier to explore and use her own fertility. We tend to presume that if we have regular periods, are in good health, and are paying for costly insemination attempts with a doctor that conception will happen easily.

A fatal heart condition was passed on to at least nine of a donor's 24 children. While screening for all genetic issues is not possible, the question is: if this came to light for your donor, how would you (and the donor) learn about it? Read new comments on this post, and add your own for our report card.

Q: I am looking into having a child with donor insemination, but I am not sure where to begin, and what to expect about cost. What should I know?